I know. Sometimes getting out of bed just ruins your whole day. You know that awesome feeling when you get into bed, fall right to sleep, stay asleep all night, and wake up feeling refreshed? Yeah, me neither. So what makes you get of bed each morning these days? Sure, everyone wants you to be a floating balloon, but you feel like a 30-pound anchor right about now. Speaking of balloons, the first person who discovered helium most have been so relieved when the effects wore off. Heh. But truly, there may be a mountain of things weighing you down.
The fear of death is implanted and infused by the media all day long. The truth is that people die every day: some physically, some mentally, and some emotionally. Okay, take a peek into the future. It’s all unclear, unsettled, and unknown. But what would your ideal day look like?
It may all seem so pointless now. Nevertheless, sometimes the smallest step in the right direction turns out to be the biggest step of your life. So tip-toe if you need to, but by all means: Take the step. It’s okay if you are scared. That usually means you are about to do something brave. Act as if everything you do makes a difference. Because guess what, sweet friends? It does.
Trying to foresee the future? The best way to predict it – is to create it. We are all riding through this storm, hoping to find a rainbow on the other side. Know this: We cannot have freedom from this storm; but we can have peace amidst the waves.
Some of us simply seem wired to worry. We constantly imagine ways that life’s possibilities will not work in our favor. Then again, worrying is worshipping the problem. Step up to the buffet table of everything that could possibly go wrong and take a bite. Oh, you say you only eat in three places? Here, there, and everywhere. I get it. Many of us have developed OCD now: Obsessive Cupcake Disorder. But for the most part, are you the type who needs a high degree of certainty and predictability, or can you tolerate unstableness and unsteadiness?
Realize that last year you had no earthly idea how things would play out, and you made it through. Cook up, think up, and conjure up the best-case scenario in your mind. Name two positive things that may happen to you today. Do it now, please. Believe it or not, you may get the same feelings as if they had actually happened, simply by visualizing and seeing them in your mind.
Sorry, but you cannot control everything, or just about anything, in this ole universe – outside of your own behavior and actions, that is. No one has a hot lead or the faintest idea of what happens next in this ‘rona world of uncertainty. Pick a maxim or mantra to remind you of just that. Some of us use the Serenity prayer. Some days you are the king or queen of serenity, while other days, separating those coffee filters pushes you over the edge. Try surrendering to the unknown and the flow of life. “Let it be.” Relax, release, restore, renew.
Find yourself going down the wrong thought train? Bring yourself back and say your mantra aloud. “So be it.” Throw it into the fire and “Let it go.” Snap yourself out of that funk in whatever way you know how. Take a walk in nature, blast some music, read, yoga pose, or dance. You know how in yoga class some days you feel like a graceful swan, while other times you feel like a baby giraffe learning how to use its legs? Been there. Go to the beach; it’s the only place where salt lowers your blood pressure.
But please stop resisting what comes next. Surrender and succumb to the illusion that you are in command and in charge. Choose tranquility over trepidation. No need to repeat past mistakes, sweet friends. Reinvent yourself.
There are two ways to look at the future: as a challenge or as a threat. Which do you choose? You’re having a vision problem today? Can’t see yourself doing much? Instead of fretting about tomorrow, make today count. To be in someone’s memories, you have to be in that person’s life. So put two joyful activities on your calendar right now. Just think: In 20 years from now, the hardest thing you will have to do is find a screen name that hasn’t already been taken.
Stop drowning yourself in that sea of “To Do” lists for a spell. Face your fear and figure out exactly what is making you agitated, anxious, or alarmed. Instead of viewing this as a crisis, see it as a transformation. What will it take to allay your dismay and distress? Learn something just for the sake of learning. Smell and savor that delicious meal you are having. Let’s face it: An optimist can be wrong in the same way that a pessimist can be wrong, but who’s happier?
Your future is as bright as your faith. It’s not a dream, my friends. It’s a plan.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.