Things are getting worse. Please send more chocolate. When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate. Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way at least you’ll get one thing done. But the truth is that change is a constant part of our lives – sometimes not for the better. How, oh how, do we continue to adjust? As soon as you sort of got used to, or reluctantly accepted, the latest development, it changed again.
Sometimes change is relentless and unforgiving. Sure, the grander situation may be out of your control, but there are some small-scale things you can do to fight some unwanted developments in the world. Resistance is not futile. Then again, it is of no use losing your peace of mind over something beyond your control.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with change, provided it is in the right direction. If you feel that it is not truly necessary, recall these words: By changing nothing, nothing changes. Oftentimes, not deviating from the “norm” is due to fear. You may opt to create some upheaval before you are forced to. No need to automatically comply and conform.
Let’s be honest. The world has gone so crazy that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, there will probably be zombie rights activists. Then again, there’s that awkward moment when the zombie is looking for brains and it walks right past you. Uh, oh. But know this, my friends: If someone demands blind obedience, you had better take a peek.
Do you wish to make a 180-degree turn in your life or in the world at this time? If so, you must either do something or stop doing something. Trust me, it may not feel positive in the beginning. Feeling anxious? Stress is your body’s way of dealing with the new adjustments. It is perfectly normal. Anchor yourself by keeping a routine, however. Give your ole brain a rest. Remind yourself that some things are still the same.
If aggravation and annoyance have crossed your path, do not give up. Be proactive and figure out what steps need to be taken to make your positive impact on the world. Try not to slip into that depressed mood too often. Whatever makes you feel hopeful – do it. What restores you and gives you strength?
Complaining much? It’s okay. I speak Whinese. Let it out. Then again, some things are better left unsaid – which you generally realize right after you’ve said them. Edit, or regret it. They say: There is no misfortune so bad that whining about it won’t make it worse.
Perhaps some folks talk too much. It’s been said: Humans aren’t descended from monkeys; they come from parrots. Heck, venting can prevent you from those free rides in the back of a cop car. Verbalize all you want, but do take action, please. Ask yourself at this very moment: Is there anything I can do to make things better?
Talk to people who are empathetic and encouraging. They will uplift you and calm the fears that are spinning around in your mind. Remember that there are as many opinions as there are people.
Breaking News: The world is almost out of common sense. Do not get fixated on world events that are truly out of your control. Set your sights on where you can pull strings and then saddle up. Look for all opportunities where a turnaround is possible. It’s okay to create some tumult and turmoil at times, if the transition is truly necessary. If you were meant to be controlled, you would have come with a remote. The human spirit is more resilient than you know; and so are you.
No need to accept or come to terms with what some call the “new normal” if it goes against your fundamental spiritual or moral outlook on life. Seek out what you consider reliable information to make sense of what is going on around you.
Please do not suppress your feelings at this time. Acknowledge them, and assess whom you can express them to openly, without judgment or repercussions. At times, it’s all right to keep some opinions to yourself. But there is no need to pretend that everything is all right, when it clearly is not.
The truth is that unless their name is G-d, their opinion is just that, and their approval is surely not needed. Formulate your personal mission statement as to how you wish to effect positive change. What’s your action plan?
Do not worry about popular opinion. If you swim against the tide long enough, trust me: You will develop muscles you never knew you had. It appears that there are those whose sole mission is keeping people apart these days in one way or another. When this tide goes out, you will discover who they were all along. Trust your gut, sweet friends. Stop treading water and simply allowing the tide to take you where you may not wish to go. Renounce wrongdoing wherever you can. Always push onwards toward your highest principles. Be a change-maker.
Please do not blindly follow authority. Do you know the name Miep Gies? You probably should, sweet friends. She broke rules at the risk to her very life and helped hide a Jewish girl from the Nazis during World War II. She became a close, trusted friend of Anne Frank’s family and was a great support to them during the two years they spent in hiding. And no, she did not simply comply. Go ahead and do something good today.
Significant opportunities to help others may not come, but small ones surround you every day. Look no further than Anne Frank’s most famous quote from the young girl’s diary: “I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.”
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.