Wow, that idea started with you feeling scores of enthusiasm and excitement, and now you’re downhearted and dispirited. You just want to quit. I get it. Know this: We humans crave instant gratification. Admit it: We all love fast food. Then again, your fast food can be your last food. And doesn’t food look so much more scrumptious when you’re dieting? Oh, you’re a light eater. As soon as it’s light, you start to eat? But truthfully, when we want something, we want it now.
If we do not perceive our reward almost immediately, oftentimes we simply give up. Try to remember why you chose this goal or project to begin with. Can you still picture in your mind what you dreamed about? What was your aim, your why and wherefore?
Why are you knuckling under? Are you tired? Perhaps you need to pump the breaks a bit and then begin again. Is it support you’re missing? Reach out to loved ones and friends to share your feelings. Let them replenish you. It’s perfectly all right to receive encouragement from her.
Are you overthinking it? If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well Think Big.
Motivation may not hit you like a bolt of lightning, but you can certainly create it with positive thoughts and a healthy mindset.
Is lack of confidence preventing you from staying the course? If so, you may need to change those negative thoughts into strengthening ones. There’s a reason it’s been said that you can do anything you set your mind to.
Visualize the finish line. Keep in mind the final scene: your crowning glory. Remind yourself of all your past achievements and triumphs. Wow, look at how much you have done. If you’re tempted to throw in the towel, know that you can always learn from your mistakes.
Okay, so you started the project and it’s much more demanding and time-consuming than you expected. Now, you’re tempted to just leave a trail of unfinished jobs or responsibilities. Ugh.
Act even when you don’t feel like it. Inspiration is usually the result of some action and not what causes it.
Hint: Reading motivational quotes is not the same as taking action, sweet friends. Watching thought-provoking YouTube videos is not a substitute for taking real steps or going for it. Speaking of tech, how about this? “Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 45-minute flute solo. Sheesh. Ah, remember the ’90s? So many memories. No evidence. But on a serious note, bear in mind that the smallest act will create the momentum you need.
So, what have you given up on too soon? Eating more healthfully? Dating, or making that long-overdue career change? Ah, online dating: Now your dream of finding love can be crushed more efficiently and in the privacy of your own home. It took all your will power, but you finally quit dieting. I’m not afraid of heights; just widths. Perhaps you believed the ad that claimed you will get instant results. Eat anything you want and lose weight. Huh? Listen, whoever has my voodoo doll, can you please take some stuffing out of the stomach area?
But truly, drop perfectionism and set realistic expectations, please. You do not need a precise blueprint. Estimate more or less how long this journey may take. Make a list of the significant reasons you are doing what you plan to do. Re-read it if you hit a wall and feel like giving up.
Do not attempt to do too many things at once. Simplify, please. Do not allow yourself to get swamped and snowed-under by all the so called “information” out there. Choose one small thing to work on in your life.
Listen to your body in addition to your mind. If you’re exhausted, by all means rest and recuperate. Don’t you just love feeling refreshed and having your body work at its peak performance? Do not compare yourself to him, even in this social-media-dominated universe. Trust me: Even she has her share of bad days.
Always find the value and worth in what you are doing, sweet friends. Find a mentor if you can. He may offer you advice or simply a sounding board. Find someone who is already where you want to be. Iron sharpens iron. She may not have all the answers, but she can help you find your own. You know your instruction is really important to me. I wrote down exactly what I want you to say. Heh. You may not even have to go look for one. He may be right there.
Always remember: Someone else’s hindsight can become your foresight. Instead of asking yourself, Why is this happening to me again, ask: What can I learn from this?
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.