Feelings of loneliness can affect you at any point in your life. You may think you wish to disappear, but what you truly want is to be found. If you feel isolated, please share your feelings with a trusted friend.
Getting the love and support you need was made impossible during mandatory lockdowns. Relegating you to online activities, life and even prayer was far from a solution for many. To log on or log off: That is the question. And no, Zoom was not the answer. You may not even be able to “interact” with others during some online activities.
We were robbed of nearly all our in-person connections and were told that it was for our own good. A crucial part of self-care and mental health is being with like-minded, caring people. Of course, we do not underestimate the power of meditation or even eating well, but it is no substitute for creating “moments” with loved ones and friends. As for eating well, I read the ingredients of my favorite candy. In my opinion, it is safer to eat the wrappers from it. But seriously, we have literally been deprived of meaningful, lifesaving human connection.
If you want to improve your mood, please engage in face-to-face interactions with people. Talk to a stranger if you deem it safe. Make eye contact and share something, no matter how trivial. Go ahead and ride your train of thought to some unknown destination.
Listen, I thought talk was cheap until I saw my phone bill. Chat up the cashier or the barista in the coffee shop. Um, but don’t ask the cashier if the item is free simply because it failed to scan. Then again, we all know what it’s like to be behind the guy who keeps talking to the cashier well after he paid for his stuff. Sheesh.
Many who were forced to “shelter in place” have retreated to a corner and have yet to come out. They continue to live a life devoid of all significant social connections. Talking in slang and emojis these days? How ‘bout all that small talk? A man is pulled over by a cop for speeding. He tries to make some small talk. “So, how was your day?” “Fine.”
Being inundated with so called “news,” or what passes for information, can feel utterly overwhelming and lead to feelings of profound separation and sadness. Social media is teeming with people living supposedly happy-go-lucky lives. You are scrolling through her feed, and she has been humble bragging about her latest purchases and her exorbitant vacay. How can you not ultimately feel inadequate? Do you have any idea how she feels when her social media feed is turned off? Stop worrying about measuring up to photo-shopped images and lives, please.
Instead of “sharing” all the cool things you did without them, try some real sharing. Cut that pie and deal out some words of love and support to your friends. Speaking of pie, cut mine into four pieces; I don’t think I could eat eight. As a matter of fact, I’m currently occu-pied.
Believe it or not, not getting enough sleep or sleeping way too much can have a huge impact on your well-being. I couldn’t sleep last night, because I was trying to remember the difference between insomnia and amnesia. Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it. But sincerely, do prioritize your sleep hygiene.
When you die, you want your tombstone to offer Wi-Fi, just so people will visit more often? Perhaps you know many people, but they don’t offer the care or attention you need. Try to observe your negative thought cycle. Ruminating and brooding about our lonesomeness does us no good whatsoever. Cultivate the strength and desire to take some action no matter how small.
What makes you feel less lonely or isolated? When was the last time you went to a game, or on a coffee date with an old friend? You had me at “coffee.” May your coffee kick in before reality does,
Find new people if you must. Try to have in-person meaningful interactions. Please do not lose touch with friends and neighbors. Discover a sense of community and camaraderie. We all need to feel intimacy, trust, and a sense of belonging, sweet friends. You know what they say: If you make your business about helping others, you’ll always have plenty of work. Still feeling blue? Think about ways to make others feel better. See, you’re feeling more congenial and connected already.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.