You likely won’t recognize any of the following names: Nina Rolle, Matthew Streeton, Emma Clarke, Susan Bennett, and Eyal Gelberg. Ironically, however, millions of people have heard and continue to hear them repeatedly, although they have absolutely no idea who they are.
Rolle is reportedly the voice of Alexa, Bennett is the original voice of Siri, Clarke is the voice heard in the British Tube, and Streeton is the voice heard on British railways.
Anyone who has traveled on Israel’s buses, trains, or light rail is familiar with the distinctive voice of Eyal Gelberg. He is also the voice heard in many commercials in Israel. Gelberg’s ubiquitous voice gained fame during the Covid pandemic when it was played repeatedly on all public transportation: “Selichah? Masechah! Ein makom lanagif haCorona b’otobus hazeh! – Excuse me? [Wear a] mask! There is no room for coronavirus on this bus!”
The truth is that all of us have voices that “make announcements” all the time that we hear and internalize. We don’t often realize that those voices within our heads are sending us messages. We also don’t often realize how negative and detrimental they can be.
Psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb relates the story of a high school girl who was working on a school project as the project deadline loomed. She stayed up much of the night for a few nights in a row, studying, researching, and creating her project.
The morning when it was due, she walked into class holding the project she had worked so arduously to produce. As she walked towards her teacher’s desk, her best friend whispered to her, “Oh, my gosh, your project is pathetic. Aren’t you ashamed to hand that in? Look at all the other projects. They are so much better than yours. I can’t believe you don’t have more self-respect than that!”
We would all agree that her best friend isn’t much of a friend at all.
But what if the condemning voice wasn’t that of her best friend, but rather the voice within her own head?!
Gottlieb notes that our inner voice acts as a narrator, but it often tells a distorted story based on past fears or limiting beliefs (e.g., “I’m unlovable” or “I’m not good enough”). Our inner voice, our internal monologue, can be surprisingly harsh and even toxic. At times, that voice can even be described as an inner bully. We say things to ourselves that we would never dream of saying to a close friend. We would never choose friends who talk to us the way we often talk to ourselves.
That inner dialogue isn’t a supportive cheerleader, but a harsh, unforgiving inner critic. We beat ourselves up over minor mistakes, replaying social interactions in excruciating detail, criticizing our physical appearance, and minimizing personal progress with relentless sharpness that we would never inflict on anyone else.
What’s worse is that the toxic inner narrative often operates on an audio loop, silently eroding our self-esteem and driving up anxiety. We mistake this harshness for discipline, convincing ourselves that if we aren’t strict with ourselves, we will fail. But constant negative self-talk doesn’t promote growth; it traps us in shame.
The greatest challenge is that we often don’t recognize the inner voice. The first step is to notice the voice without automatically believing it and ask three questions: Is it kind? Is it true? Is it useful?
Gottlieb encourages reshaping our internal monologue by using what she calls “The Friendship Test,” treating our inner voice like a best friend. Whenever you catch yourself being self-critical and notice that loop of negative messages in your head, ask yourself if you would say that same message to a close friend. If not, it fails the test.
By treating your inner voice with the same compassion, honesty, and support you would offer to a best friend, you can build a healthier, more resilient narrative for your life.
True emotional growth often requires us to “unknow” ourselves. This means letting go of the old, rigid stories written by our inner voice so we can write a truer, more compassionate narrative for our lives.
After we learn to recognize and identify the inner messages we hear in our minds, we can learn to channel them to help us become our greatest encouragers. Their message will be one of growth and positivity.
You can almost hear Gelberg’s voice saying:
Ha’tachanah ha’baah – the next station is: Aliyah g’dolah – tremendous growth.
Rabbi Dani Staum is a popular speaker, columnist, and author. He is a rebbi in Heichal HaTorah in Teaneck, New Jersey, principal of Mesivta Orchos Yosher in Spring Valley, New York, and a member of the administration of Camp Dora Golding. His writings can be found at www.strivinghigher.com. Looking for an inspirational speaker or scholar-in-residence? Contact Rabbi Staum at 845-641-5094 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..