How does one become a real baal teshuvah? What is true repentance? Chazal tell us there are numerous ways to repent, but usually, in each instance, it requires an awakening in a person’s soul, which allows him to see the folly of his ways and thereby repent. The question is: How does one achieve that “awakening”? There are a number of ways....
Before R’ Avraham Brody zt”l became a renowned Rosh Yeshivah in the city of Prague, he was a melamed. One day, he came to learn with his young charge, and he was informed that his services were no longer needed. He was fired.
Asking no questions, R’ Avraham left. But the man who had fired him felt no peace. He had one son, and he wished him to become a great talmid chacham. Someone of greater renown had offered to learn with his son, and so he switched melamdim. For many years afterward, as his son grew and became a scholar, the man felt terrible. He cried bitter tears.
He decided that his son should go to Prague and enroll in R’ Avraham’s yeshivah. The bochur was accepted, and he turned into a blossoming scholar. He would ask pointed questions, and all who learned with him beheld a great future in store. R’ Avraham, too, took notice of this unusual prodigy and asked him what his name was and from which town he had come. The boy refused to answer, saying his father had given him strict orders not to reveal his identity to anyone.
R’ Avraham asked again and again, and finally, the boy relented. When R’ Avraham heard who his father was and that this boy was once his pupil, he said, “Do you know why your father merited to have such a special son as you? It is because he did real teshuvah with a broken heart because of what he did, and Hashem does not reject a broken heart!”
Another story: In the city of Guadalajara, Spain, there lived a man who sinned without shame. He flaunted his wickedness; no sin was too big or too small for him, and he reveled in his “rasha” status. The great Spanish chacham and Kabbalist, Rabbeinu Moshe De-Leon zt”l (he is credited with putting the Zohar in writing), lived in Guadalajara, and on one occasion, this wicked man jokingly asked him if there was any remedy for his sins. He was told that the only atonement was to accept upon himself the judgment of death as an expiation for his sins. He would be put to death in a terrible manner, and only with that would he ultimately receive a portion in Gan Eden. The sinner laughed. Further in jest, he told the chacham that he would agree only if R’ Moshe swore that he should have a seat in Gan Eden in his vicinity. And so, R’ Moshe swore to him.
Suddenly, strong hands grabbed the man and blindfolded him. He was ordered to confess his sins publicly and accept upon himself the yoke of Heaven completely, in addition to accepting upon himself death in exchange for his sins.
Now, the sinner became scared. This was no joke anymore, and he began crying out loud, begging for mercy. A pronouncement was made that hot molten lead was to be poured down his throat, burning his insides and killing him horribly, and now his wails and cries were deafening. Realizing that this was it, he began to sincerely repent for his sins.
The gathering of elderly talmidei chachamim ordered him to open his mouth and prepare for the molten lead. Crying and begging for mercy, the man opened his mouth in compliance. Then, a full spoonful of honey was thrown into his mouth, and the pasuk, “V’sar avonecha v’chatascha t’chupar” — “Your iniquity is removed and your sin eliminated” — was recited.
The baal teshuvah was in shock. What just happened? It took a few moments to realize, but when he did, he screamed bitterly. “Rabbeinu Moshe, why did you deceive me? Was this all a trick just to make me repent? Well, I repented. Kill me now so I won’t see my destruction. Why should I desire to live after all the sins that I’ve done?”
R’ Moshe told him not to fear, for Hashem had already accepted his actions. From that time onward, the penitent did not stop learning Torah, and for the remainder of his life, he did teshuvah. When his rebbi, R’ Moshe De-Leon, eventually died, the baal teshuvah cried bitterly that his rebbi was taken, and he davened that he should follow suit since he now had no rebbi to guide him. A few days later, he fell ill. When his death was imminent, he began to scream, “I am coming to fulfill my rebbi’s oath.” After he died, many elders saw in a dream how this baal teshuvah was sitting next to his rebbi in Gan Eden, learning Torah with him.
(This incredible account is recorded in Sefer Ta’amei Haminhagim.)
Rabbi Dovid Hoffman is the author of the popular “Torah Tavlin” book series, filled with stories, wit and hundreds of divrei Torah, including the brand new “Torah Tavlin Yamim Noraim” in stores everywhere. You’ll love this popular series. Also look for his book, “Heroes of Spirit,” containing one hundred fascinating stories on the Holocaust. They are fantastic gifts, available in all Judaica bookstores and online at http://israelbookshoppublications.com. To receive Rabbi Hoffman’s weekly “Torah Tavlin” sheet on the parsha, e-mail This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.