On Wednesday evening, September 16, Coach Menachem Bernfeld hosted a virtual shiur featuring Rabbi Uri Deutsch, who spoke about forgiveness, t’shuvah, and renewal. Coach Bernfeld shared that a basic tenet of Judaism is emunah. Yom Kippur is a significant and fateful day, when the din is sealed for the coming year. Many of us do not feel confident, clear, or secure. How do we succeed? We find ourselves groping for ways to engage in spirituality and gather merits.

Rabbi Deutsch then shared that we sometimes think of Shamayim as a slot machine: If I get it right, I’ll get the payoff. An empowering message and key point, however, is that Shamayim is not a slot machine, and spirituality is not guesswork. This is a cornerstone of the Y’mei HaDin. Every person experiences his or her relationship with Hashem in a unique way.

This time of year is an opportunity to reorient our focus and resolve to live the Divine mission for which we were created. Brachah flows from our relationship with Hashem.

Rosh HaShanah is about connecting to ourselves in our true essence, without being limited or blocked by anything around us. It is a time to reflect on how we can bring our values and actions in line with our inner truth. The Yamim Nora’im are not about guesswork. They are a time for deep introspection, self-examination, and a strong commitment to living the life we know, deep down, to be true.

Rabbi Deutsch explained that we have a human need to explain what happens to us; but there is only one defining reality: r’tzon Hashem. Our job is to live according to His will. When that becomes our commitment, we open the gates of brachah.

The goal of this time, he taught, is to regain and reinvigorate the centrality of Hashem and our relationship with Him. It is a time to acknowledge where we are and recognize that serving Hashem is the central motif of our lives – bringing His light into the world. We must always remember that Hashem is our Father and that He desires to shower us with brachah.

A central message of Yom Kippur is that we can stand before Hashem and believe that we are pure. If we believe that we can change, it helps us believe that Hashem will see us as changed as well. The goal of t’shuvah is to feel renewed; and to achieve that renewal, we need to relinquish negative patterns of thinking.

Rav Yonah teaches regarding t’shuvah that without Hashem’s assistance, the t’shuvah process cannot succeed. T’shuvah is a relationship. When we are determined to rebuild that relationship, Hashem guides and strengthens us. However, we need to take the first step and begin the process ourselves. The way to begin is with a sincere desire to change and move forward. T’shuvah comes from joy, hope, and a desire to reengage.

We want to feel Hashem in our lives and to feel that we are living up to the tzelem Elokim in which we were created. We want to feel that Hashem is protecting us. When we begin with one small change or one small step, we demonstrate to ourselves that we are capable of changing. This allows us to move beyond the negative. One meaningful change can show us that change is possible, and recognizing that ability gives us a meaningful sense of empowerment.

Rabbi Deutsch shared that, in a close relationship, each person continues to support the other through challenges and the vicissitudes of life. We are committed to being there for the other person and appreciating who that person is – through both good times and difficult ones. In a loving relationship, I am there for you because you are you, not because of my own self-fulfillment.

The same is true of our relationship with Hashem. He is always there for us. Hashem senses in am Yisrael the depth of our commitment to Him. We are committed to being there for Hashem. “Our life has meaning because we are dedicated to Hashem. We are here to fulfill the mission of kiddush Hashem.”

Rabbi Deutsch noted that sometimes living and enduring can be more difficult than death.

Following his remarks, Rabbi Deutsch answered questions from participants.

One person asked why this year should be different from past years. Rabbi Deutsch responded that we are limited and are not accurate arbiters of our own spiritual standing. Hashem knows us better than we know ourselves. We believe in the path of t’shuvah, and we cannot measure true accomplishment. Our task is not to measure ourselves but to commit ourselves to Hashem. If we commit to Hashem, then we are growing. The very fact that we are ready to reaffirm that commitment is a magnificent victory.

The shiur was inspiring and uplifting.

By Susie Garber