Never Give Up

Israeli educator Avinoam Hersh recently shared a story about a man named Yehoshua – a story that serves as a powerful reminder that we should never lose hope.

Yehoshua had a good job and was financially stable, but in his early 50s, he had not yet found his bashert. He had nearly resigned himself to a life alone.

Yehoshua loved the lively, spiritual atmosphere of the Old City on Sukkos. As a kohen, he would attend and participate in the grand Birkas Kohanim ceremony at the Kosel every chag. But at some point, he stopped going. He felt like life was passing him by. Year after year, seeing parents push their babies in strollers and watching families and friends walking together tugged at his heart. How he wished he could do the same. But who would want him at this point? Who even cared? He was ready to give up.

One year, he felt himself pulled back to the Old City. He wasn’t even sure why, but he gathered his Arbaah Minim and went. After davening at the Kosel and walking around, fatigue set in. He wanted to sit in a sukkah and rest for a bit. He came upon a private family sukkah with its door open. He debated whether he should enter it. Many people are happy for strangers to use their sukkah to fulfill the mitzvah, but even so, he was hesitant. Having just returned from abroad, his weariness won out, and he stepped inside.

Shortly after, a woman in her 40s entered the sukkah. She was talking to her father on the phone, asking when he would be back so she could bentch lulav and esrog. It would take some time for him to return. She was startled to see a strange man in her sukkah and asked who he was. Feeling caught red-handed, Yehoshua quickly apologized. He explained that he had only wanted to organize his Arbaah Minim and that he would leave immediately.

She smiled and asked him not to leave. She jokingly said that he would have to “pay the price” for sitting in the most beautiful sukkah by letting her borrow his Arbaah Minim. She picked up the esrog, closed her eyes, and smelled it. She told him that she loved the smell of the esrog every time. Yehoshua watched as she shook the lulav and esrog in the proper order. She obviously knew what she was doing.

When she finished, she told him what had just gone through her mind. She explained that sometimes people feel like they are stuck, and then Hashem suddenly sends them a solution to their problem. She had just missed her father when he left to go daven at the Kosel, and she thought she would have to wait an hour and a half until he came home to bentch. “And then Hashem surprised me and brought the Arbaah Minim right to my sukkah.”

Yehoshua thought to himself: Not only did Hashem bring the Arbaah Minim to your sukkah, He brought ME to you. He could tell that the woman wasn’t married, though it was possible that she was divorced. He davened that she should be either single or widowed so that he would be halachically permitted to marry her.

They began to talk. Yehoshua told her that he liked her “vort.” The woman asked if he was in a rush to leave. As it was Chol HaMoed, there was nowhere he needed to go. She asked how he liked his coffee and went into her kitchen. A few minutes later, she came back with the coffee, and the two talked and talked. Yehoshua commented on her spontaneity and ability to go with the flow. They realized that they had a lot in common and much to talk about. When her father returned, he was also surprised to find his daughter shmoozing with a stranger in their sukkah. But he, too, went with the flow. A short game of Jewish Geography revealed that they also knew people in common.

After three hours of effortless conversation, they said goodbye and agreed to be in touch the next day. Eight months later, they got engaged. Today, they are the parents of two beautiful children. Yehoshua still happily walks the streets of the Old City that he loves – no longer alone, but together with his wife and children.

Never give up.

Suzie Steinberg, (nee Schapiro), CSW, is a native of Kew Gardens Hills and resident of Ramat Beit Shemesh who publishes articles regularly in various newspapers and magazines about life in general, and about life in Israel in particular. Her recently published children’s book titled Hashem is Always With Me can be purchased in local Judaica stores as well as online. Suzie can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and would love to hear from you.