Let’s just say it: the story of Esther is not the courageous story we have been force-fed for the last 4,000 years. It is the original exposé on a corrupt imperial regime, a beauty-pageant-industrial complex, and what I am going to call—without hesitation—the Deep Palace State.

Some will tell you that the United States of America, at 250 years old, is in its most precarious state in history. Some will tell you that we, as a nation, have never been more divided—politically, religiously, racially. Some will tell you that America is seeing its decline and its inevitable destruction. Some will tell you that our enemies are attacking us at levels never seen before in history. These people are imbeciles.

You may have been caught up in the majesty of the semiquincentennial celebration and forgotten that we are in the middle of negotiations to end a war with Iran. Somehow - and I can’t believe this is still the case - Iran seems to be able to continue its incredible streak of never winning a war or losing a negotiation. Based on the current terms of the negotiations, it seems that the United States is in a worse position than it was before.

There has always been one question that irked me when it came to the Pesach story. After finally granting permission to B’nei Yisrael to leave Egypt, Pharaoh gets the urge to bring them back after a mere three days. Obviously, we have the mefarshim who tell us that it was Hashem making him change his mind, but let’s leave that out for the purposes of this conversation. Let’s say it was actually Pharaoh who realized he was losing out on slave labor and wanted to bring B’nei Yisrael back on his own.

The United States Census is imperative to our borough. The Constitution requires the government to enumerate the number of people living in the Unites States every ten years and to use the data to apportion the seats in Congress among the states. The calculation is based on total resident population, which means citizens and non-citizens alike, and it generally shifts power between the states, once a decade, in line with population and migration trends. The current conventional wisdom seems to indicate that New York is expected to lose one seat in the House of Representatives. The Census is also a means that determines how Federal funds are distributed. That is why the count has to be accurate.