Dating Today

Dear Goldy,

I’m in my thirties and have been a guest at many friends’ weddings. Like you wrote, as friends got married, some moved on to married life and a few stayed in touch. But as time went on, I went on and made new friends who were single. It is what it is. I have three good friends: one is married and we’ve been best friends since high school, and the other two women I met in the last few years through mutual friends and at dating events. I’m friendly with a lot of people. I stay in touch with many girls from my past; it’s easy when you can copy and resend a text or post. But I can count on one hand the people I’d call if I were in trouble and needed help.

Dear Goldy,

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want you to think I’m a monster, or not kind or not understanding... or any of those things. And because of that, I haven’t discussed this with anyone. Maybe you can help.

Dear Goldy,

I don’t want to come off sounding conceited or snobby, but I will no matter how I word my letter. B”H I come from a well-off family. Yes, I have a PhD.

Dear Goldy,

My family isn’t rich. We’re middle class, maybe in the middle of middle class, if I had to label it. My siblings and I started working as teenagers, and we’ve always bought what we wanted. Our parents took care of our needs, but if there was anything special any of us wanted, we’d pay for it ourselves. After high school, I seriously started thinking about saving for my wedding.

Dear Goldy,

I’m a big fan of yours. I love reading your articles, and sometimes we discuss them around the Shabbos table. My family laughs or they are shocked at what people write in about their dating lives. I (and others) like how you answer the questions as a friend would answer a friend. You say it straight. You’re never harsh, but you are blunt—and I think that’s what makes you different from others who are preaching and teaching about the shidduch parshah, what’s happening in and to this generation, and why “there are so many more older singles now than there were decades ago.” When speaking about shidduchim, I like real advice and real experiences—not “It says in Mesechta Tet Vav...” or “When Avraham was trying to marry off Yitzchok...”

Dear Goldy,

I know never to look a gift horse in the mouth, and I never have, but at my family’s Chanukah party, I couldn’t help myself.