It sounds weird to begin a letter like this, but I will. I’m a Jew and I’m not embarrassed by our mitzvos or minhagim. When my co-workers said I was too young and never had the chance to live or be young and crazy when I got engaged, I took it all with a smile. They didn’t understand that we get engaged and married young. We’re married with kids by the time they figure out they want to settle down. Do they know something we don’t? Is it better to get married when we’re older? Shouldn’t we know who we are before “I am” is “forced” to become “us,” and before “us” becomes a family?
My sister called last night and told me to get my dancing shoes ready because her daughter Raizy became a kallah. I was shocked, surprised, happy…and confused. A few weeks ago, my sister said that Raizy, her eldest, was going to start dating. I laughed and told her she better be ready for the long haul. Three out of my four children are, bli ayin ha’ra, married. I know the ups and downs and craziness that goes on.
I have been dating my boyfriend off and on for almost a year. Just when things seem to be going great, something happens, we argue, break up – but then a month or two later, or even less, we decide to give it another try.
I’m writing because I think my son is hurting himself. He was set up with a girl. My son likes her. He hasn’t dated anyone else for this long. But he’s afraid to take the next step, because she earns more money than he does. Her position in the company she works for is more prestigious than his is at his company.
When I run into friends in the neighborhood, it’s usually in one of the grocery stores. When they ask, “Where’ve you been?” – because they haven’t seen me in a while – I always say I’m either working, home, or here shopping. The last time an encounter such as this happened, instead of catching up on each other’s lives, my friend asked if all the letters I publish and respond to are real. When I was asked that by an individual I was meeting with for work, then I knew I had to write this specific column.