Dating Today

All I can say is, “Wow.” I didn’t expect all the emails I received from the article published a few weeks ago. I wrote about how everyone should have a “safe place” or “support item,” when life and dating get to be too much for someone. What do they do to overcome the feeling until it passes? It seemed to hit a spot with many of you. As soon as Motza’ei Shabbos, my Inbox had over a dozen new messages from readers. This tells me that I was right: Everyone gets nervous and needs something to center and relax them until they feel in control of the situation.

Dear Goldy:

I am engaged to a great girl who is from a large family. The sisters seem so happy to have me marrying into the family. There is only one sister who is married, and her husband seems to be okay.

As I always say/write: I provide my opinion to those who ask it. Take it or leave it. Not everyone has to agree with me, and believe me, many don’t. This is the time of year where I choose a letter from a non-fan, or should I say, a fan with criticism. Never let it be said that I only publish cute, sweet letters that have happy endings.

Dear Goldy:

I know I will come off sounding like a selfish child, but you always say not to apologize for your feelings. There are a few people who know how I feel: my parents and my siblings. Not my friends or my will-be-chasan. Yes, “will be,” because he has unofficially proposed. By the time you publish my letter (if you do) I may be officially engaged.

Every year, new words get added to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. The new words are usually words that have become popular in the past year and people find themselves saying them quite a bit. These words have now become part of our everyday vernacular. I’ll provide some examples of words slash phrases that were hardly ever spoken waaaaaaay back in the ’80s, or of they were used, they certainly didn’t have the same meanings as they do today. Some new words in our new world are bullying, transparency, my truth, my narrative, triggering, emotional support animal, and safe place.

Dear Goldy:

I’m able to relate to some of what you write about. I’m 33 years old and working full time, but not a professional. I never attended college and am not what you call “white collar.” I’m a hard worker and I believe that I have a lot to offer a wife. There have been times when I take a girl out on a date and she says something to the effect of, “Usually I date doctors or lawyers.” I’m not sure how to respond to that. From the start, girls know that I am not a “suit-and-tie, 9-to-5 type.” I don’t make it a secret. The shadchanim know and tell the girl. I make a very good living and have impeccable manners, always treating everyone fairly and with kindness. How do I respond to comments such as this? Are girls trying to say that they will give me a chance even though I am not the type they usually date? Are they trying to say that they can date others who are “better than me?” They may think they are giving me a compliment. I don’t appreciate this comment or others like it.