FAMILY MATTER: Nissan Borr

We all aspire to greatness for our children. It’s woven deeply into our psychological makeup. We believe in them and see them for what they truly are: remarkable.

You know that awkward moment when you realize you made a parenting mistake? That moment when your action or body language sends all sorts of hurtful messages to your child?

You know what I’ve never heard at the beginning of a session with a couple? “We only have one problem.” Never have I ever been tasked with helping a couple navigate one issue. The same is true with family therapy. Relationships don’t contain one problem; they contain endless differences, triggers, and frustrations that can populate the script of an infinite argument.

“What kind of question is that? I love my children!”

I didn’t ask if you love your children. Love is common. But do you like your children? Do you enjoy them? Enjoy spending time with them? Appreciate their personalities? Look forward to seeing them? Does your face light up when you think of them?

When I receive feedback about my articles, it is usually unassertive: “Good job this week,” “I really enjoyed your article,” and the like. Last week’s article received radically different attention.