I caught up with Leah, who had just spent the last few hours running from fridge to oven, and sink to counter. She seems so joyous cooking for so many people - roast chickens, potato kugel, and various meats - that I didn’t want to leave her kitchen. Purim is around the corner and she is so thrilled that many of her fellow Jews are going to have a good Purim seudah.
Leah reminds me of my mom, who loves cooking for many tenants in her building despite having arthritic hands. There is something special about people who endlessly give and don’t know how to say no.
They remind me of my “Soldiers of Chesed’,’ always giving and never questioning or ignoring or giving advice. G-d bless these special tzadikim. I have heard that if there are more than 10 tzadikim in the world (or 36, I don’t remember), the world cannot be destroyed. Boruch Hashem, I have the z’chus (merit) to know more than half of them.
With my mom, it wasn’t just Purim, it was year-round, as she tried to get her aid or neighbor to help her cut vegetables for her gourmet soups. The irony was that some of the neighbors weren’t so happy, or rather found it inconvenient, to help mom in the kitchen despite the fact they were the beneficiaries of her delicious meals. People are funny, I guess.
What makes Mom and Leah give endlessly? The power to see and help G-d’s children; the power not to rationalize, ignore, or look the other way.
During Leah’s cooking, her cell phone seems stapled to her ear. Isn’t it funny that Leah and mom always had time when there was no time to give? You know why? Because our Creator always gives us time to do kindness. Purim - the entire theme of the holiday is kindness. A mother has to take her daughter for chemotherapy and is desperate for a ride to Sloan Kettering. The mother is crying. Leah, can you help? While cooking three different kugels and watching so the chicken doesn’t get overcooked, Leah starts working the phones until she finds a volunteer that can come to the mother and daughter’s aid. Soon enough, Leah sends over her children with plentiful food for the family.
Two minutes later, another frantic call comes in. Mrs. X. has to go for dialysis on Thursday. The family is in disarray. There is no food in the house. The father planned on eating cheese with challah for the meal. Soon enough, Leah sends over her children with plentiful food for the family.
Sounds like me, sometimes, when I lived in Bubble Land and ate tuna fish on Friday night (not that I saw it as a problem). Single people tend to get ignored, or should I say, most people outside the clique get ignored.
You may ask yourself how these people do it. How do they manage their own homes while dealing with all these crises around them? All ordinary folks benefitted from their overwhelming kindness and caring heart because it transformed them too. Each party, the giver and taker, learns the true meaning of friendship and what it means to give. Mrs. M. Bubble Lander, is just as busy as Leah and my mom, yet, she found the time to take over my mom’s task and cooks wonderful gourmet dishes for the many tenants who have no one to cook for.
There is always time!
The question is: Do you want to make the time?
Leah was asked by an interviewer, “When do you finish work, besides run a family and do all these acts of chesed? “Work is over when no one needs me,” she answered. “How can I relax if a father is in tears a few blocks away because his wife is in the hospital recovering from a tough day on dialysis and doesn’t have the strength to return home?”
Leah says housework is a bit easier because there is some kind of schedule, unlike a crisis which can pop up suddenly, like the time I got a call from a neighbor the other day. Six kids, two in their teens, put their own lives on hold so they could take care of their siblings and give everything they had to nurse their ailing mother with all the love they could muster. Leah took the teens and siblings out for a wonderful day on a boat ride. After all, they are human too. The teens, as well as the other kids, spent the day being kids and looked as if they didn’t have a worry in the world.
Another story that Leah got involved with concerned little kids who were doing poorly in school because the father had to work long hours and the mother spent many days and nights in the hospital with a blood disease. If Leah isn’t volunteering, she gets her kids or other volunteers to tutor the kids. Their poor grades are history now and they raise their hands in class with the other kids, proudly showing off that they know the schoolwork.
Rides to hospitals and schools, hot delicious meals, emotional therapy helping others adjust to their fears and unknowns - Leah’s phone never rests and neither, it seems, does she, but, she says, “I’m just thankful that I can be on the giving side.” And I’m thankful that G-d sent me a wonderful mom that raised me right and showed me what it means to be a Jew.
Israel Root is a freelance writer and a motivational speaker inspiring many people from Synagogues to Social Functions to Hotels. He can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
