Wow, you are speaking “your truth.” I guess it must be true then. Think again. Objective truth is country miles from subjective perceptions, and it’s high time we admit that. Acting as if our opinions or ideas are some prevailing truth has actually caused untold universal deceit. Sure, you hear “experts” speak with a great deal of authenticity and accuracy; but how real are their assertions? Remember that denying facts does not make something accurate or remotely legitimate.

There is only one “truth,” sweet friends, and it’s neither yours nor mine. It is not relative and it is surely based on facts, not feelings. So why is everyone suddenly enamored with someone “telling her truth” or “his truth”? Sign of the times is what I say.

Guess what? Mathematical and scientific facts are undeniable, independent of your experience; and one plus one will always equal two in a sane world. Speaking of which, Math is the only place where people can buy 56 watermelons, and no one wonders why. Then again, you know what they say: Life is like a Math equation; in order to gain the most, you have to know how to convert the negatives into positives.

So if we adopt a devil-may-care attitude about what constitutes “truth” in our personal lives and our culture, you best believe that we are headed toward difficulties and disturbances the likes of which you cannot even imagine. If truth is based on our perceptions, what happens if a particular reality becomes inconvenient for us to accept? Do we then “speak our truth” by lying to ourselves and our loved ones about it? What happens to pure honesty in your relationships if it is so flexible and compromising? Do we now admit to actual falsehoods for fear of offending others? 

Would you trust a friend or mate who told half-truths, or omitted important aspects of a situation to ultimately deceive you? What if they asked you to accept it because, after all, they are speaking “their truth”? I get it. Harsh truth: I’m also at that batty age when I think everyone my age looks way older than me. Lol. And even if there wasn’t any gravity on earth, I would still fall for you. Awww. But there is gravity, and that’s a fact. Please don’t check if it still works.

There surely is a physical world that exists independent of our observations of it. And that world runs on facts that are equally free of our opinions or beliefs about it. But in our efforts to “get along” with anyone and everyone, we are now told to validate everyone’s perceptions, no matter how bizarrely irrational they may be. Ignore all your spiritual and mental sensibilities in order to worship someone else’s ego? Good grief. Are we really there?

Next time someone accuses you of being “judgy” and pulls out the “Who are we to say” what’s right for someone else, ask if drinking themselves into oblivion or being 100 pounds overweight is good for them, too. Parents do not even reprimand their own children anymore. Yet, we all know, down deep, that there are behaviors that are simply unhealthy mentally and spiritually, even if we dare not say it aloud anymore. And how meaningless are the lives who worship at the altar of relativism and subjectivism.

Did you ever notice that there are those who will never give up a strongly held opinion even in the face of truckloads of evidence against that view? Sure, your impressions or feelings may be “real” for you; and by all means carve out your personal path and journey. But please do not accept lies, distortions, or someone else’s “truth” simply because they say it with conviction. Do not even become too attached to your own beliefs until you are sure they represent something authentic and support a higher purpose.

Bear in mind, sweet friends, that most of our behavior is based on our perceptions and a whole bunch of rationalization. We get into a boatload of trouble, however, when we are wearing a red dress and someone else says it’s blue. If our reaction is: “Well, that’s your truth and that is just as legitimate as mine,” then anything that is clearly, demonstrably wrong is twisted into now being right.

Be very careful and know the difference between facts, and what may be your viewpoints, perceptions, and beliefs. I know, for some of us Math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles. But numbers do not lie. And it’s been said: “Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.”

Please do not fall for the Emperor’s New Clothes or entirely nonsensical ideas simply because the world has gone mad. One of life’s greatest accomplishments just may be holding on to your sanity.

By Caroline Schumsky, LCSW, MS 

Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens.  She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends.  She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at