Are you up till all hours studying for an exam? Hey, I will not sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia. Are you working incessantly or trying to build your own brand? You hardly have a moment to breathe. Do you find this satisfying or enriching in any way? Do you even ask yourself that?
You finally went on that vacation you have been dreaming about for years and yet even while on the beach on that glorious day, you do not feel content. You may still be hit with random negative feelings, and you have no idea why. Then again, it’s been said: What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.
It’s as if our minds do not do well with rest and relaxation. We may unwind on the first day or so, but then we become preoccupied yet again with our problems and predicaments. You may come to feel as though no accomplishment or attainment will ever be enough.
Do you believe that what you do makes a difference in the world? Sure, being busy may protect you from feeling unworthy or even sinking into despair about the state of the world. I know. You’re too busy to tell people how busy you are. Meetings and deadlines may distract you from even asking yourself existential questions such as: What is my true purpose? Speaking of deadlines: Caution: Dates on the calendar are closer than they appear. Then again, if it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
However, excessive worry and anxiety can be utterly life-destroying. Do you know what objectively deserves strain and stress? Pause and ask yourself: Is there truly anything for me to be overly anxious about here? Every challenge or germ may seem dangerous due to hysterical media messaging. For some people, hand sanitizer became their signature scent. Others just bathed in it. But truly, your whole existence can be called into question these days.
Your inner distress signal may be jammed in the “On” position. You need to distrust the senses that cause you alarm. Direct your mind and challenge yourself. Allow yourself to experience the nobility of feeling that spiritual moods can usher in.
Honor your spiritual experiences, sweet friends. The ordinary world may start to seem a bit distant if you are not so loyal to your ego. How do you feel when you see that brook’s flowing water or the leaves’ brilliant colors in the Fall? Remember: Pumpkin spice makes Mama nice. Appreciate and thoroughly enjoy Nature. Distribute your gratefulness generously across the entire universe.
You may even feel the spark of the Divine. A spiritual moment can usher in spaces that are serene and secure. No tripping over your ego or being consumed with comparison or jealousy, please. Make peace with the laws of the universe and mortality. Direct your energy and joyfully accept the claims of the ordinary world.
Your financial status: You just rinsed off a paper plate? Yikes. Is your idea of managing your finances arranging all of your dollar bills in the same direction? Yes, you need to work to pay those bills. But do you take the time to lose yourself in the twinkle of the evening stars or the chirping of the birds after that rainstorm. Can you feel the presence of the Divine inside of yourself?
If you find yourself lonely, do not jump to dark conclusions, sweet friends. I know: The trouble with living alone is that it is always your turn to do the dishes. But truly, if you are interested in introspection and self-examination, you may find that most are simply not keen on looking deeply inside themselves.
How many do you know who examine their childhoods or try to trace the link between their feelings and their behavior? You have a coffee date with her and find there is simply nothing to say. I know. I am stressed, blessed, and coffee-obsessed. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool. But I digress…
You feel awkward around him but do not know exactly why. While you may relish the idea of processing things about your internal life, they wish to share their latest hobby or pastime. Sports anyone? It’s been said: The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. What did the receiver say to the football? Catch you later.
Not that there’s anything wrong with obsessing about the Mets or Giants, mind you. Sharing your latest 100th shoe purchase is all good and well. You know if Mondays were shoes – they’d be crocs. But truly, what happens when you try to nudge the conversation to something more intimate and deep?
Do you communicate what is truly going on in your heart? Feel blessed if you meet even one other person in your life who wishes to do the same. Yes, love is everything it’s cracked up to be. The best thing to hold onto in this life, my friends – is each other.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
