Question: Is it permitted to listen to lashon ha’ra, even if you don’t believe what you hear?
Short Answer: No, it is forbidden to listen to lashon ha’ra, even if you don’t believe what you hear. There is a dispute whether you need to give up all your money to avoid listening to lashon ha’ra.
Explanation:
I. The Chofetz Chaim
The sefer Marpei Lashon (p. 114) recites a story about the Chofetz Chaim. In his old age, he began to lose his hearing, but did not go to a doctor. When Rav Meir Shapiro asked him why he didn’t go see a doctor to help his hearing, the Chofetz Chaim responded that it was easy at this age to refrain from speaking lashon ha’ra, but you can never be certain that you are not going to hear lashon ha’ra. Therefore, he is happy that anyone who needs to speak to him must scream, as no person ever screams lashon ha’ra.
Indeed, the Chofetz Chaim (klal 6:1-2) writes that not only is it forbidden to believe lashon ha’ra that you hear, but it is also forbidden to listen to lashon ha’ra, even if you do not believe it. The Chofetz Chaim adds that simply listening to lashon ha’ra is an isur d’Oraisa, since you “tilted” your ear to listen to the lashon ha’ra.
What is the source that lashon ha’ra is asur d’Oraisa (or even d’Rabbanan) for the listener? The Chofetz Chaim (klal 6, B’eir Mayim Chayim, n. 2) brings five proofs that lashon ha’ra is forbidden even for the listener.
II. Fingers in Ears
The first source cited by the Chofetz Chaim is the Gemara in K’subos (5a-b). The Gemara cites the pasuk (D’varim 23:14) that states: “V’yaseid tihyeh l’cha al azeinecha” and learns that “azeinecha” can refer to “oznecha,” your ears. This teaches that a person should place his fingers in his ears to block out improper speech. Similarly, the Gemara holds that a person’s ears will “burn” fastest when he hears bad words spoken. The Chofetz Chaim writes that this pasuk and limud is only d’Rabbanan, and thus does not provide a d’Oraisa source for the prohibition of listening to lashon ha’ra.
However, the sefer Chelkas Binyamin (cited in Emek HaLashon 47) challenges this source. The simple meaning of the pasuk of “v’yaseid” is that it is teaching that you must block out improper speech of “nivlus ha’peh,” such as cursing and immorality. Indeed, the juxtaposition of this pasuk to the earlier pasuk “v’nishmarta mi’kol davar ra” shows that the context is immoral thoughts and speech. Thus, this pasuk does not teach us that it is forbidden to even listen to lashon ha’ra.
III. The Rambam and Others
The second source cited by the Chofetz Chaim is the Rambam (Hilchos Dei’os 7:6) who writes that it is forbidden to even listen to the words of “baalei lashon ha’ra” – gossipmongers. Clearly, the Rambam holds that even listening to lashon ha’ra is forbidden. The Chofetz Chaim notes that, again, this likely is only d’Rabbanan in nature.
However, the Emek HaLashon (ibid) questions this proof. Perhaps the prohibition of the Rambam is limited to listening to lashon ha’ra from gossip-mongers, but it is permitted to listen to lashon ha’ra from a person who happens to share lashon ha’ra on an infrequent basis. The reason for such a distinction is that we are afraid that a listener of lashon ha’ra from a perpetual gossipmonger will be affected from such listening and will possibly himself become a “baal lashon ha’ra.” On the other hand, a listener of lashon ha’ra from an infrequent speaker will not be so affected. Thus, the Rambam does not teach us that it is always forbidden to even listen to lashon ha’ra.
IV. The Judge
The third source cited by the Chofetz Chaim is his “r’ayah b’rurah” – ironclad proof – that not only is listening to lashon ha’ra forbidden, but it is asur d’Oraisa. The Gemara (Sh’vuos 31a) writes that a judge may not hear the claims of one party without the second party also present (called “ex parte communications” in American courts). One of the p’sukim cited as the source for this halachah is the same pasuk that teaches that it is forbidden to accept lashon ha’ra as true, “Lo sisa sheima shav.” Indeed, this prohibition is cited together with the prohibition of accepting lashon ha’ra as true in the Rambam (Hilchos Sanhedrin 21:7).
Since it is certainly forbidden for a judge to even listen to one party not in front of the other party, the same law applies to a listener of lashon ha’ra. He must not even listen to lashon ha’ra, even if he does not believe it to be true. In fact, the Chofetz Chaim writes that it is a kal va’chomer, that if we forbid listening to a party privately, even though the other party will eventually come in front of the judge and state his objections, surely, we forbid listening to lashon ha’ra where it won’t necessarily be contradicted later. We thus have a d’Oraisa source that simply listening, without believing, lashon ha’ra is forbidden.
The Chofetz Chaim further debunks any distinctions between the cases. For example, one can argue that perhaps it is only asur for the judge to listen to these ex parte communications because they fundamentally have an impact on him as a judge, as opposed to listening to lashon ha’ra, which won’t have any impact. The Chofetz Chaim says that this is certainly incorrect according to the Urim V’Tumim (Choshen Mishpat 17:14) who holds that if one party speaks to the judge before he is appointed (or knows he will be appointed as) the judge, it is only permitted for him to later adjudicate the case if the other party consents to his appointment despite the earlier ex parte communications. Thus, it is clear that ex parte communications are even forbidden where they don’t have an impact on the judge, as he is not appointed the judge at that point.
The Emek HaLashon cites the Chelkas Binyamin, who challenges this source, as well. The Maharil (195) holds that it is permitted to have ex parte communications with a judge if the communications are not judgment-related but are simply seeking advice or simply complaining. Accordingly, it is clear that the prohibition is limited to judge-related listening and cannot be extrapolated to lashon ha’ra.
V. The Other Sources
The fourth source cited by the Chofetz Chaim is Pirkei D’Rabbi Eliezer (17), wherein Rabbi Eliezer ben Hurkenus warns his son, Hurkenus, not to associate or congregate around those who speak lashon ha’ra. Even associating and congregating with them, without believing their words, is forbidden.
The Emek HaLashon wonders whether this source actually implies the opposite. Rabbi Eliezer went into great detail about associating with speakers of lashon ha’ra. If simply listening to their words was forbidden, he should have said that expressly and succinctly.
The fifth source cited by the Chofetz Chaim is the Sefer Chareidim (Rabbi Elazar Azikri, d. 1600) who expressly writes that it is forbidden d’Oraisa to even listen to lashon ha’ra.
VI. Any Dissenters?
Are there any poskim who hold that it is permitted to listen to lashon ha’ra (assuming you do not believe what you hear)?
The Chofetz Chaim (ibid) himself addresses the opinion of the Shaarei T’shuvah (3:213) who appears to rule that only “believing” lashon ha’ra is forbidden, not simply listening. The Chofetz Chaim suggests that the Shaarei T’shuvah includes cases where it is permitted to listen to the lashon ha’ra according to all opinions, such as if there is a toeles for future reference, and thus cannot write that even listening is forbidden. However, even in cases of toeles, it is forbidden to believe the lashon ha’ra.
The Emek HaLashon (ibid) suggests that the Shaarei T’shuvah (3:212), as well as the Rambam, appear to only forbid listening to lashon ha’ra if the listener somehow encourages the speaker (Shaarei T’shuvah) or listens to a group of perpetual gossipmongers (Rambam). However, even the Emek HaLashon acknowledges the Chofetz Chaim’s ruling and of course accepts it from a practical perspective.
VII. Giving Up All Your Money
To conclude, there is a fascinating machlokes cited in the footnotes of the Dirshu ed. of Chofetz Chaim (p. 347) whether a person must give up all his money in order to avoid hearing lashon ha’ra. The Chofetz Chaim writes that a person must pay all his money to avoid speaking lashon ha’ra, pursuant to the words of the Shulchan Aruch (and the Rama) (Yoreh Dei’ah 157:1) which require a person to spend all his money to avoid violating a d’Oraisa prohibition. But what about to avoid listening to lashon ha’ra?
The sefer Ikrei HaDinin (Rav Shmuel Hominer, klal 6, n.4) rules that a person must spend all his money to avoid listening to lashon ha’ra, as the act of listening is a sin performed with the body. On the other hand, the Mishnas Yisrael (12) holds that listening is only forbidden lest you come to believe the lashon ha’ra, and thus, one need not spend all his money to avoid listening to lashon ha’ra.
Rabbi Ephraim Glatt, Esq. is Associate Rabbi at the Young Israel of Kew Gardens Hills and a practicing litigation attorney. Questions? Comments? Email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
