Halachic Highlights

Question: What is the proper date of the first yahrzeit, the date of death or the date of burial? 

Short Answer: The Mishnah B’rurah rules that the yahrzeit is observed on the date of death in all years. However, many poskim, including Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l, disagree and rule that where the date of burial is three (or possibly, even two) days after the date of death, the first yahrzeit is observed on the date of burial and all subsequent yahrzeits are observed on the date of death.

Question: May a woman serve as a sandak at a bris milah? 

Short Answer: A woman should not serve as a sandak where there are men available. Different reasons are suggested for this custom.

[In response to numerous people requesting articles on Aveilus, we present this series. May the learning of these laws be a z’chus for arichas yamim and good health for all.]

Question: At what point should the person making the Borei P’ri HaGafen drink the wine at a bris milah?

 Short Answer: While there are multiple opinions on this issue, the prevailing custom appears to be to delay the drinking until after the K’rias Sheim (albeit giving the baby a taste beforehand). Nevertheless, Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l and other poskim held that a small sip should be drunk before the K’rias Sheim.

Question: May the same person serve as sandak for two children in the same family?

 Short Answer: While the Rama appears to disallow it, many allow an important person or close family member (such as a grandfather) to serve as sandak more than once for the same family.

Question: When should the father recite the brachah of “l’hachniso bivriso shel Avraham Avinu”? 

Short Answer: While some Rishonim hold it should be recited before the bris milah and others hold it should be recited after the bris milah, the Shulchan Aruch follows the compromise opinion, to recite it in between the milah and p’riah.