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Dear Goldy,

I have twin daughters amongst my other children. I’m specifically writing about them because they are in the parsha and bh, I’m busy with them. I’ll refer to them as Rifky and Malky. I meet shadchanim, go to meetings and my girls get out there and go to singles events too. Both are looking for a different type of boy, so it’s like doing double duty, literally.

Dear Goldy,

I’m dating someone that I hope, by the time this letter is published (if you publish it), will be my chasan. The only thing I’m worried about is that people, namely my friends, are telling me that once I’m married, I won’t be calling them so often or getting together like we usually do. I’ll be too busy being a newlywed, and it’s normal to get swept up in things during the first few months, or six months. They say they’ll be lucky if I remember their names, and what usually happens is that I’ll get to know and grow close with my chasan’s friends’ wives. Nothing is wrong with that. I can add to my friend group or have two separate friend groups. I have friends from school, from work, some I met within the last couple of years…

What could be a better title for this time of year? If you’re like me, you’re constantly making lists every week about errands or what to shop for. Others make lists only when the Yomim Tovim come around; this way they remember what to buy, how many of it, who to invite for what meal... But yes, this time of year, many people make a Chanukah list - whether it be whom to invite for the party, what to make, who’s making what, and what to buy for whom (but there’s no reason to break the bank over Chanukah gifts. I’m not here to lecture about that). While you all may be thinking that I’m referring to that type of list, I’m not. It’s the list of prerequisites people have for whom they choose to date.

Here I go again…

We all know the feeling of being involved in an argument and having the greatest one-liner, a real zinger. But instead of having your mic-drop moment where you can leave knowing you had indeed won the argument or proven your point, you say nothing. The comment would be 100% truthful, but would hit below the belt. You would be the victor, but at what price? Making someone feel bad or embarrassing them? Is it worth the pain that the other person may feel so you can have your mic-drop moment? Think about it. Life goes on, and this moment will be a blip—or less than a blip—on your radar in a year or two. But the other party may feel the aftershocks of what is now a distant memory for you in the years to come.

Dear Goldy,

My son is 28 and began dating an older woman. She’s 33 and divorced. I don’t think my son needs to be dating older divorced women yet. He’s young enough to see what single girls his age are around. If he were in his mid-thirties, then I don’t think I’d mind so much. But to do it in his twenties seems too soon or rushed.