On Sunday evening, March 3, Let’s Get Real With Coach Menachem Bernfeld featured two experts on autism, Robert J. Bernstein, MA Ed - Special Education, educational consultant and author of Uniquely Normal, and Nochum Monosov, MS Ed, BCBA, educational consultant.
Mr. Monosov shared that we need to understand people with this diagnosis and understand how they view the world. This is the best way to help them to change and to grow. He shared how he was working with a boy and making progress in a short amount of time. He was improving in participating in class and in interacting with friends. He was less upset about school. Mr. Monosov had a meeting with the principals and teachers, as well as the parents. The parents said that their child just needed to feel understood.
He shared another story that happened. There was a fifth-grade boy who wouldn’t participate in class at all. He wouldn’t open his sefer or take tests. He wouldn’t answer the rebbi. So, Mr. Monosov focused on what this child was excited about. He loved building and woodworking, so he worked with him on making a wood box. This child needed visual hands-on learning. Sitting and listening in class didn’t connect for him. It was important to spend time to make learning something he could connect to. He pointed out that, ideally, we should gear our teaching to each child’s needs. We need to find what the child can relate to.
A child could feel that no one understands him. Our approach should be that we are going to try to understand you. The child will get the message that we are trying. This means that we are open to hear what he needs. There is societal or family pressure to force him to conform. It’s important to not just try to fix the problem, but to try to understand the child and then he will fix himself.
Next, Robert J. Bernstein shared his expertise and experience. He uses a cognitive-based approach. He shared that the teacher needs to help the child get engaged. Children should like school, and this is especially true for children with learning problems. Children feel tortured when they feel they are not understood. This approach is really good for all children.
He shared that the children or parents often are blamed when the child isn’t doing what he is supposed to, in terms of the level of learning, etc. It is the responsibility of the teacher to connect and understand the child. It is not the parents’ fault. When you connect and understand the child, then his behavior problem improves. He shared how a girl was a behavior problem in school. Mr. Bernstein suggested that her teacher ask the child to help her bring things from her car into the school. This small personal interaction changed the child’s behavior in class. She needed a personal relationship with the teacher.
He explained that some children have to learn what others learn naturally. They need to understand the meaning behind what they are learning. If you understand how the child’s mind works, then it’s a real bond.
Teachers can perform simple things that make a big difference. Find something the child likes. It can make a big difference for a child.
He shared how a student was taking a long time to transition from class to art class and arrived to the lesson late. She took a seat in the back of the art class. She missed the point of the art lesson. The teacher needed to have someone explain it. This would have made a huge difference for this child.
He said, “It doesn’t take much to be sensitive to these kids.”
He added, “It’s up to the adults in the room to give these kids what they need in order to be successful.”
Mr. Berstein lamented that once children reach age 21, there are very little services for them. The system ignores them. It’s tragic that there is no funding for adults on the spectrum. More attention should be focused on this issue.
He explained that the cognitive approach involves finding out what is going on with the child. If he comes into class upset, you take time to discover what is bothering him. He noted that it’s important to enhance the siblings’ relationship with their sibling on the spectrum. Siblings can accomplish a lot.
One problem is that we tend to focus on what they are not doing right, and we need to focus on their unique gifts. Mr. Molonov shared that they can contribute to everyone. We can learn from their way of thinking about things. “Cultivate and value what he has to offer.”
By Susie Garber
