On Wednesday evening, October 22, community women of all ages gathered at Ohel Simcha for an uplifting and inspiring Rosh Chodesh shiur hosted by Chazaq and delivered by the well-known inspirational speaker, Charlene Aminoff.
She shared her personal struggles and how her fiery emunah has helped her rise above her challenges. The crowd was captivated by her message and her inner strength.
She explained that the month of MarCheshvan is often called mar – bitter. We have just left the high and joy of Tishrei with all the chagim, and this new month is bereft of any holidays. There can be an emotional drop; it is a quiet month. Yet mar also means droplets of water. The Baal Shem Tov taught that water is a siman brachah, bringing life and renewal. When we leave the spiritual heights of Tishrei and find ourselves in MarCheshvan, we must recognize that this month is an opportunity to plant seeds that will blossom into Kislev, the month illuminated by the light of Chanukah.
She shared that this year has been particularly challenging for her, yet her emunah remains “bulletproof.” Many years ago, when she was having difficulty conceiving, a top specialist in Manhattan told her she would never be a biological mother. Today, she said, she is blessed with five wonderful children. “I am proof that no situation is beyond the help of Hashem. Remember, Hashem is kind-hearted and doesn’t want to see us suffer, but He does want to see us grow.”
Charlene shared that this world we live in is not the real world, but rather a corridor leading to a magnificent banquet hall. She then described her newest “Mount Everest.” On January 6 of this year, she learned that she had breast cancer. She reminded herself that she had already lived through 11 miscarriages, her mother is battling stage 4 cancer, her father suffered a heart attack, and one of her closest friends was niftar. “Every test makes me stronger. I’m a seasoned warrior. Hashem doesn’t want us to stress. He wants us to stretch.”
She recalled receiving her diagnosis while on vacation. Remembering how her mother had once danced and thanked Hashem upon receiving her own diagnosis, Charlene and her family danced and expressed gratitude together in their hotel room. She explained that she had two choices: to see her life as filled with hardship, or to emulate Sarah Imeinu, who viewed her challenges through the lens of emunah.
The Torah states, regarding Sarah, “This was her life” twice. Rashi explains that all her years were equally good – despite her infertility until age 90, her kidnappings, her husband’s tests, and the Akeidah. Sarah understood that challenges were a path to grow closer to Hashem.
Charlene quoted a verse from T’hilim (73): “As for me, my closeness to Hashem is good.”
When faced with this newest challenge, she resolved to tap into her inner Sarah Imeinu and see this, too, as good. She described the treatments and side effects she endured and became emotional as she shared, “I have never felt closer to Hashem. It empowered me so much.” Because of her openness, 32 women went for testing, and their lives were saved.
She offered a powerful analogy about a gymnast named Rosa, who grew up in a difficult home and learned to push through hardship. Because she was accustomed to struggle, she was able to train relentlessly and to ultimately win a gold medal. Charlene explained that Hashem is our coach, urging us to build spiritual strength, so that one day we will all understand what our hardships helped us earn.
Another analogy she shared was about giving her children a limited-balance game card at Dave & Buster’s. Just as they had a set amount to accumulate as many tickets as possible, we, too, are given a set amount of time to earn mitzvos – to maximize every moment.
Her central message was to transform pain into power. When facing hardship, refuse to sink into despair. Dance, breathe, and recognize that everything Hashem does is out of love. The Vilna Gaon taught that the reward corresponds to the difficulty that preceded it.
She noted that Rachel Imeinu’s yahrzeit falls on 11 Cheshvan. Rachel lived her life for others. She gave up her own joy so her sister Leah would not feel shame. Rachel’s tears are the ones that Hashem gathers to bring us out of galus. Be like Rachel: Daven for others, help others who struggle with what you struggle with. Help them climb their own mountains. Only she is called Mama Rachel – because she turned her pain into purpose.
Charlene concluded by offering heartfelt brachos to everyone and encouraging each person to take on one small step this Cheshvan.
Thank you, Mrs. Aminoff and Chazaq, for a beautiful and meaningful shiur.
By Susie Garber
