Do you feel guilty doing nice things for yourself? Perhaps you mistake self-care for selfishness. “I’m not self-centered. I just noticed the world revolves around me.” Uh-oh. Self-respect and self-love are actually necessary for self-worth, sweet friends. You may have to learn how to treat yourself with kindliness and compassion.
How do you nurture your own well-being? I bet you do not even know. My self-care involves giving my worries a time-out. Are you the star of your own reality show?
Taking care of yourself does not have to come at the expense of others. You do not ignore his needs, but you learn to support yourself as much as you support and strengthen him. I practice self-love; I accept all friend requests from myself.
But seriously, rate your overall satisfaction with your life. Make sure you have security in your own worth and value. And while you’re at it, give your inner critic a day off. Then there will be no need to feel superior or to put yourself above her. If you truly love yourself, you will not brag or boast about your success or achievements.
Sadly, we all know people who will tear others down simply to try to feel good about themselves. If you truly know your own qualities and good deeds, you will not feel desperate to prove yourself to anyone.
I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for me. Awww. Do celebrate your intrinsic worth and abilities. Do you find yourself speaking unkindly to yourself after you make a mistake? Do not criticize yourself too harshly in the guise of trying to make yourself better. This will surely prevent you from treating yourself with consideration and caring.
Cultivate emotional resilience above all. If you are struggling or going through hardships, please ask for help if you need it. Know your limits and learn to clearly communicate to loved ones what you hunger for.
In order to be healthy and help others, you must prioritize your well-being, sweet friends. Next time you make a choice, ask yourself if it is a healthy one. And remember that you need not sacrifice your own happiness just to make him happy. Find ways to meet your own needs, as well.
If you do not have a healthy attitude toward yourself, how can you have a high-minded inclination toward others? Strive to bring about the happiness of others, but do not forget your own good. Do you take the last cupcake on the tray? Is that selfish? Well, you sure do take the cake.
Do you ever do something when there is nothing in it for you? Perhaps you are really motivated by looking good to others when you give a large donation to charity. You may crave social status and recognition. True self-love forces us to work against our vanity and selfishness.
Do consider the needs of your loved ones and others. You know what they say: Self-love is the best romance, and it doesn’t require remembering anniversaries. Do you see the world in a way that casts yourself as the lead actor or actress? As challenging as this might be, cultivate presence. Take the time to observe your own needs and direct your attention beyond yourself, as well.
If your family member or friend does not pay attention to your wants, try to understand what is motivating their selfishness. They say: two things you’re thankful for: 1- Family and Friends, 2 - Caller ID, to avoid certain family and friends. But truly, please do not take his accusations or toxic behavior personally. You do not have to be reactive, sweet friends.
Become familiar with misconceptions in our culture about selfishness. Evaluate each circumstance and always share with her in a non-combative way. Find supportive friends and set healthy boundaries that help you grow and evolve.
Do not feel guilty for taking good care of yourself. I’m my own soulmate. We even finish each other’s... sandwiches. But truly, how do you fulfill your own desires and needs? Your ability to connect to others can change the way you move through the world. Friendship can hold an exceptional place in your life story. Allow for deeper connections to flourish.
You are far from alone if you have struggles with friends or loved ones. There’s a difference between companionship and closeness. Do you feel comfortable sharing feelings with her? Remember the things that are important to him. Be consistent despite the rough patches.
Relationships can falter if you do not support each other through difficult times. Show up without judgment, please. Invite her to share how she feels. What is your emotional vocabulary? And most of all: Remember to charge yourself as often as you do your phone.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
