Do you know what truly matters to you? We naturally care about others, but believe it or not, caring can go too far. It can end up making too many demands on your relationship. Unfortunately, it can become an obsession or cause amplified anxiety or worry. Trying to always “be there for her” may end up negatively impacting your emotional stability.
Are you your own priority, and can you occasionally assert yourself if need be? We are not always in the mental state of mind to provide empathy or to help him through a challenging time. Remind yourself that your time and feelings are of immeasurable value. Be cautious about who you emotionally invest in.
Devote your energy to things you can control in your life. Focusing and giving too much attention can end up consuming your thoughts. Do not invest too much energy into what she or he thinks of you, please. Whatever decisions you make in life, others will always have an opinion of you. Do not let their impressions define you. You know what they say: Opinions are like noses – everyone has one.
Social media has wild expectations of what you should look like and who you should be. You know how to perfect the “no makeup” look? You’ll need 27 cosmetic products for starters. Then again, eyebrows: the only thing you can get into shape without going to the gym.
But seriously, perhaps you are overly eager to be liked by others. You may fret over the impression you made on someone at work. Hey, I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work. But truly, trust me: He is focusing on his own insecurities and may not even recognize yours.
If you realize that not all eyes are on you, it can set you free. Who do you want to be? Don’t allow her opinions to dominate your life. You must learn to accept your shortcomings. Do not internalize past erroneous perceptions or judgments. Then again, it’s been said: When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of algebra. Anyway, age is a relative thing. All your relatives keep reminding you how old you are.
But truly, learn to welcome all the facets within yourself. Be choosey about the things you care about. The people who deserve to walk with you on your journey in life will be kindhearted and generous. It’s okay to be selective, sweet friends.
Observe your patterns of thinking. Do they tend to be negative? This will surely prevent you from going after what you want in life. If you consciously think about all the things that may go wrong in a given situation, you can process them, challenge some of the unrealistic fears, and come up with solutions.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make a good impression on him. The quality of your life may very well depend on the quality of your relationships. But do tone down that inner self-conscious voice in your head. You do not have to live up to what she thinks you should accomplish.
Sure, her assumptions can carry some worthwhile insight. But do not dwell on what she may or may not think of you. The moment you allow your joy or ease to depend on the validation of others, you give away the power over your emotional states.
Positive attention is not a requirement for your happiness. My favorite thing about your opinion is when you keep it to yourself. Uh oh. What she thinks of you is a reflection of her - not of you. She is surely immersed in her own troubles. Your mistakes will quickly be forgotten and forgiven by your true loved ones if you genuinely make amends.
People fear what is unknown. If you are a non conformist you may be seen as a threat. Following groupthink is not always a virtue. Be an authentic, self-aware person please. Forge your own path.
Do you worry about your appearance, health, financial security, or relationships? Human life is fragile and can be taken from us in the blink of an eye. Worrying is a destructive habit. Someone told me to visualize my worries floating away like balloons. Now my apartment is filled with balloons, and I’m still worried.
But honestly, the person most knowledgeable about you – is you. You may show the world one side of you. But you must seek to find your hidden personality traits for true self-actualization. Most importantly, do not hide the truth from yourself, please. It’s been said: The destination isn’t in finding yourself. The destination is in the search.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
