Sometimes it’s hard to brush off others’ comments about you. I know: You can even go so far as to let her opinion dictate your life choices. Fear of disapproval is universal, sweet friends. Trying to live up to his expectations can place an enormous weight on your shoulders.
Do you focus enough on your own achievements? Take a moment right now to look at how far you have come in your life.
There will always be those who may look at you with scorn or even contempt. If you truly wish to enhance your mental well-being, do not focus on that. Instead, show gratitude not only to those in your life, but to yourself as well.
What have you overcome in the last few years? No doubt you have had personal challenges or even difficulties to triumph over. Look inward for affirmation and validation.
Checking your status again? New followers on the ‘Gram today? Social media may not help you shake off the way you feel during hard times. It is forever reminding you just how you compare to her and her so called “life.” Do not allow his mindset on Twitter (X) overpower yours. Yes, you can multi-task: You can eat, watch TV, and browse the Internet all at the same time. Sheesh. Do yourself a solid and just log out for a bit.
Are you doing things you truly want to do? We all have different desires and wishes. What are some hobbies or passions that you love? Do you even know? Cooking, baking, lifting those weights, dancing, reading, learning, or gardening. What’s your pleasure?
Then again, it’s been said: Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. By the way, does lifting coffee count as a bicep curl? Do you lift weights so you can carry your snack stash around more easily? I get it.
But honestly, if he tries to change or reframe your interests, ask yourself: “Why am I doing this?” It may be that her words or personality always seems to bother you. You might be confused about your own feelings. There is a great deal about your inner world that you do not know, sweet friends. Learning and knowing the source of your anxiety or anger may help you understand what you are really struggling with.
The sad truth is that you can never make everyone in your life happy. Opinions will always differ, and some personalities simply clash. Become aware of how things make you feel. And then try to observe what actually happened. Do not put yourself at the center of blame, but do learn from your mistakes and experiences. Know what you think and what you need. Resist the urge to keep fixating on what he or she thinks of you, please.
If you concentrate and consider closely all of your strengths and talents, you will get a more wholesome, healthy image of yourself. See yourself in a positive light. Do not apologize for who you are. If your actions let him down, express remorse; but do not feel sorry about your very identity.
If he constantly disrespects you, you may have to walk away to preserve your mental health. She may regularly arrogantly tell you what’s good for you or what is right or wrong. Have an openness to new ideas and decide with whom you want to share.
Regardless of his place on the social ladder, he deserves respect. Talk positively about others as much as you can. Call your friends by their name every so often. Pass out compliments or treat her to a coffee today. May your coffee be stronger than any challenges you face today. But if not, remember: Don’t throw your cup at anyone. You need it for refills.
But seriously, talking about your past mistakes actually makes you more relatable. You may think you need to act a certain way to attract others. People find perfectionism quite intimidating. Sharing your flaws is authentic and will humanize you to her, making you that much more attractive.
What is the kindest thing you can say to someone right now? If you exude positivity, others around you will mimic your demeanor. Let her fully express herself. Make sure he associates you with positive experiences or feelings.
Prioritize self-love and invest in yourself, sweet friends. Dip it in chocolate; it’ll be fine. Indeed, take the time to pamper yourself, especially around holiday time. Be someone worth thinking and caring about. Leave a lasting impact. Indeed, life is tough – but so are you.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
