Today’s forecast: Gloomy with a chance of Doom. What is that in the air right now? Oh, right – its uncertainty. And what is the shape of that cloud up there? It’s a big ole question mark. What are my holiday plans? Will I ever meet Prince Charming? Will I have enough money? Will my kids turn out remotely sane? Health-related issues? Panic stations are all open, and stress is at an all-time high. So you stand behind your decision to have a fit of madness, eh? Please step away from the Panic Button.
Ah, yes. Germs, like everyone else, find you irresistible. The truth is that the current global crisis will unravel, ultimately, and things will bloom and blossom yet again. Please start by embracing the reality that we simply cannot control everything, sweet friends. That makes you feel weak, wimpy, and without power? Truth be told, it simply makes you human.
Yes, we have all received a bolt out of the blue in the form of a pandemic. Your “optimistic” neighbor tried comforting you with: “Don’t worry; it gets worse before it gets worse.” Sheesh. When our lives go as planned, we feel in charge, in control. Someone you know may deal with unpredictability better than you. That’s okay. Be kind and compassionate to yourself. Do not become a “worst case scenario” expert. I once asked someone on the bomb squad about the stress of bomb-defusing. He shrugged and said: It’s not stressful. I’m either right, or it’s not my problem anymore.” How’s that for some perspective?
Draw spiritual strength from connecting to the bigger “Why”: Why are you celebrating the upcoming holiday? It’s not about the money; but taking care of your family and loved ones – that gives your work true meaning. Try to keep yourself grounded and comforted, sweet friends. How did you nourish your soul today?
It’s been a long week today. I get it. Your life may feel like a towering stack of uncertainty – so many changes and challenges. Stop to consider how many times you have overcome trying times in your life. You are here to tell the tale. Contemplate and conjure up the best possible outcome in this situation. Nothing’s for sure. That’s for sure.
Is your black shirt black enough? Think about your day and find one positive thing that happened. It doesn’t matter how small it may be. Not today? How about yesterday or last week? Maybe it’s something in the future. Upbeat and optimistic reflections quiet anxiety and help challenge those distraught or disjointed thoughts. Shift your attention to something heartening and hopeful when that downbeat and defeatist thinking takes over your brain. Your life will have many chapters. Please don’t get lost in the one you are in now.
You may not have all the answers at the present time; but if you take a moment, you will realize that you have some of them. Gather up all the facts that you do have, and please try not to make things out to be better or worse than they really are. No need to trip on what’s behind you. Just realize that no amount of guilt can solve the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future.
Some people accuse you of being too cautious? Now is not the time to worry about appearing foolish to others. So what if they think that you’re half-baked or hair-brained. You just continue to make informed choices and decisions for yourself and your loved ones.
Sometimes the worst place you can be is in your own head. Whatever you do, please do not dwell on the problem. Keep moving forward. You may make some mistakes along the way; but it sure beats standing still. We humans are way too easily influenced by our assumptions or our friends’ and family’s opinions. Please try to sort out what is tried and true for you.
Truth be told, we must sometimes plan for failure as much as we do for success. You’re not always right, but you’re never wrong? Well, on the outside chance that you may be, please have a back-up plan. Stick with ideas and actions that keep you calm. When life brings winds of change, do not let them blow you over.
Are you too stressed to be stressed? It’s one of those days when you’re holding a stick, and everyone looks like a piñata? Remember that serenity is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it. In the midst of all this mess: Don’t look for a beautiful place; make a place beautiful.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
