“Be true to yourself.” “You do you.” What on earth does that even mean? Who are you? When was the last time you did a checkup from the neck up to see if your life is on track? Sometimes we feel like we’re going off the rails on the crazy train. All aboard. Listen, the fact that you are still here is proof that whatever tried to beat you, lost.

Perhaps it’s time to take a solid look at some of your regular thoughts, daily feelings, and life choices. Do you spend a great deal of time swimming in “Denial”? Do you blame most of your misbehavior, misconduct, and misdeeds on others? When life gives you lemons, do you gift-wrap them and give them to someone else?

Do you find yourself absorbed and consumed with your own welfare and wellbeing? How much of your energy do you devote or dedicate to others? Perhaps you feel disconnected from your body, mind, or spirit. You can feel as though you are being pulled off beams by family members, well-meaning friends, or society at large.

We all need an inner reservoir from which we generate energy. Do not let your well run dry. You know what they say: You’ll never miss the water until the well runs dry. Many of us felt pressure to fit in when we were younger, and were never true to our selves or our free spirit.

Is it even possible to stay on track in this never-ending technology-fueled world? Perhaps your existential “check engine” light just went off. We cannot escape the toxicity of living in this self-absorbed culture to some extent. Start focusing on the people around you, sweet friends. Listen to her; prioritize him as much as you consider yourself.

Reach out and call that family member that you haven’t spoken to in a long while. Then again, most females will not answer video calls after nine p.m. because their face has been restored to factory settings. Trust me, I know. Ever feel like an iPhone? You lose energy without doing anything? But truly, become more curious about his needs. Find out what she truly wants from a meaningful relationship.

How often do you feel bored or blasé? If you find yourself dragging and feel drained, you may need to reshape, reorient, and renovate internally. Let’s be honest. Our brain will resist anything difficult unless it knows the reward that follows. So just think about how you will feel when you accomplish your new goal.

Are you taking on too little or too much as of late? If life gets too oppressive or overwhelming, you may be tempted to push that eject button and eat, drink, or sleep way too much. Do you have more food in your body than in your fridge? Your doctor told you to watch your drinking, so you’re off to find a bar with a mirror? No, no. Couldn’t figure out why you haven’t been sleeping all night. And then it dawned on you?

Instead, step up to your responsibilities and cultivate even stronger healthy habits. Always offer your mind something impelling and inspiring. It’s way too easy for routine and predictability to set in. Stir it up a bit.

Will your dreams ever come true? Do what I do. Keep the dream alive. Hit the snooze button.  Sure, there may be tons of unrealistic expectations and demands coming at you from every direction. But please do not forget that you can create meaning in your life every day.  Information and advice we get is oftentimes different and even conflicting. Relax and try to recall a time in your life when you felt fine and fabulous. Ponder what it was about those times that made them so super and sensational. Was it something you were doing, or perhaps the loved ones surrounding you at the time?

Try to recreate that for yourself now. Make an effort to do more of the things in life that make you feel fulfilled and fortunate. Prioritize what is meaningful and memorable to you. You mapped out your whole life and now you feel heartbroken because those plans were seriously disrupted. As long as everything is exactly the way you want it, you’re totally flexible. Hmmm. Above all, we need to be adaptable, adjustable, and flexible in this life.

For mercy’s sake, please limit that soul-crushing social media. Comparison is a slippery slope to jealousy, sweet friends. No need to unscrew someone else’s light bulb in order to shine.

Take a self-care time-out. Don’t avoid your problems, but please do give your ole brain a break. Perhaps this is a time for growth and learning. After all, you are not a houseplant, which only blooms in the spring. Live life in full bloom.

Remember, sweet friends: Give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.

Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens.  She works with individuals, couples, and families.  Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends.  She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.