Do you find yourself struggling to make progress when you are pursuing your life goals? How many days did you manage to make it to the gym? Hey, exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me. Did you learn as many hours as you committed yourself to? Have you finished that homework assignment yet? You know that homework is the teacher’s way to find out how smart parents are. Believe it or not, you may have to actually surrender control. Try making a long-term plan, and then take it in small bites. Personally, I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.
But sincerely, you can progress steadily and slowly, sweet friends. You do not have to know the direction of your entire career or life just now. Just keep moving in the right direction. Simplify and do not try doing too much at once. Your life cannot be transformed overnight. Just be sure to form some routines and daily habits to provide you with much needed consistency. Do you work out daily? Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of jogging every day. But honestly, the secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.
Please do not compare yourself to her. Life is a journey, not a race. Remember that the most effective approaches are ultimately the ones that work for you. He may have a totally different source of inspiration than you. Find a strategy and plan that fits your lifestyle for whatever discipline you wish to cultivate.
Do you even know what your optimum learning style is? What time of the day do you have the most motivation or energy? Well, y’all know me and mornings. I don’t drink coffee to wake up. I wake up to drink coffee. Hey, water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can’t make coffee. True story.
Do you have enough self-control to do things that are good for you? Expect some resistance. Eating healthy may not be as fulfilling to a part of you. You may need to remove some of those temptations, my friends. Reward yourself after you complete that task. You only ate three pieces of chocolate instead of ten? Is your superpower making chocolate disappear? Give yourself a break, please. You know what they say: Chocolate is to women what duct tape is to me: It fixes everything.
Keep your standards high and strive for excellence, not perfection. Sure, it takes quite a bit of strength to maintain discipline. It’s all right if your routine evolves over time. Perhaps what motivated you years ago is not as meaningful now. Open a new chapter in the book of your life. Mature people often change their perspectives over time.
If you are unhappy, please acknowledge those moments. We all wish to feel love, gratitude, and satisfaction. Yet there are instants or even phases of frustration, anger, and sadness. Allow yourself to feel those negative emotions. Those feelings will clarify your positive emotions. If you are crying on the inside, do not always pretend by putting on that happy face. You may find yourself feeling numb or even worse.
Avoidance only serves to deepen your emotional conflicts, possibly for many years. Issues may always linger in the back of your mind. If we choose to understand the source of those negative emotions, we can then resolve some of our doubts and uncertainty, and ultimately feel genuinely happy.
Want to feel more stoked? A truly uplifting act, which many completely neglect, is simply complimenting others. Practice that praise. “Our time together is like a nap. It doesn’t last long enough.” Do you ever take a day off from being fabulous? Aww. Listen, flattery will get you somewhere: Start talking. But truly, celebrate his successes. Appreciate her accomplishments.
Do you feel safe, secure, and comfortable in life? Have you stopped challenging yourself? Lasting happiness may include risk-taking and putting yourself out there, my friends. Most of us still crave discovery and stimulation. Place yourself in a situation out of your comfort zone. We need courage and the ability to bear discomfort. Do not always worry about the end game. Try to enjoy your journey. Be brave. It’s okay to take one step at a time, but just keep steppin’.
Take your personal growth seriously. Improve one day at a time. Explore many options. Inspiration may come from a wide variety of places. Sure, you can communicate with anyone at any time with that hand-held device: text, email, FaceTime, oh my. Perhaps you need to actually be communication-free for some time every day. Hey, listen to your lawyer: Dance like no one’s watching. But text and email will be read in court one day. Rest and relax that overworked mind of yours a bit.
Your path needs to be planned, sweet friends. Do not let failures derail your goals. What direction are you moving in? Update your plan as often as you need to. Seek advice and other perspectives from your mentor or someone you truly trust. Find people who share your vision. It’s been said: Sometimes the longest journey we take is the 16 inches from our heads to our hearts.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
