Sometime during the winter of 2018, I was perusing new titles in one of the local Monsey s’farim stores, and I noticed a new English sefer titled Mind over Man. It contained a collection of lectures by Rabbi Yechiel Perr, a prominent rosh yeshivah in Far Rockaway, based on sefer Madreigas HaAdam of the Alter of Novardok.
I had always felt somewhat intimidated by the approach of the Novardok yeshivah, founded by the Alter of Novardok. I knew that they heavily stressed shiflus ha’adam – the lowliness of human beings. That was in contrast to the famed Slabodka yeshivah where gadlus ha’adam – the greatness of man – was emphasized. The reality is that I didn’t really understand the Novardok approach, but because of that, the new sefer didn’t appeal to me.
A few weeks later, my daughter Aviva and I enjoyed a wonderful Shabbos in Las Vegas, at the home of our friends Rabbi and Mrs. Menachem Moskowitz. While there, I noticed the new book, Mind over Man, on Rabbi Moskowitz’s shelf, and I pulled it out and began reading it. What I read intrigued me, and when I returned home, I purchased the sefer.
I subsequently learned the entire sefer and loved it. It became and remains one of my favorite musar works that I have ever learned. When the sequel, Faith over Fear, was published, I purchased it immediately. It was just as wonderful as the first.
Rav Perr presents his thoughts with unusual candidness and clarity. He unabashedly speaks his mind, even when it challenges societal norms. His thoughts are refreshingly genuine, insightful, and challenge the reader to grow.
A few years ago, I tracked down Rabbi Perr’s phone number and called him. I was excited when he answered. After briefly introducing myself, I expressed my gratitude to him for his s’farim and all that I had learned from him. His humble reply was all the proof I needed (and I didn’t need proof) that he embodied his teaching: “I don’t know what I did to deserve such a phone call. But I very much appreciate the call.”
In the introduction to Mind over Man, Rabbi Perr offers a unique perspective on what musar is and why it is so important: “I have only one word to describe what musar means to me: hope. When a person reflects on his flaws, he can grow despondent. He becomes frightened by the natural blackness of his soul, realizing that the simple passage of time will not cleanse it. And time is passing. The days of his life are whizzing by, and the bad midos that accompanied him from his mother’s womb are still with him. Once in a while, he works up the courage to ask himself the tough questions: “What am I going to become as a person? The years are passing; when will I ever become a mentch?” The answer is: hope. Musar gives me hope that I am not simply shackled to my character flaws; I can improve myself.
“Hope is key. What is life without hope? When people lose hope, they essentially stop living. They stop eating or caring; their life is not worth living. But musar is a source of tremendous hope.”
While I didn’t have the z’chus to know Rav Perr personally, I feel that he personally influenced me through his s’farim. The positive spin on musar being a potentially elevating force in one’s life, and granting him hope, is a beautiful perspective.
In an article he wrote about his rebbi, Rav Aharon Kotler zt”l, Rav Perr related that one day when he was one of 70 bachurim learning in Beth Medrash Govoha in Lakewood, the Rosh Yeshivah, Rav Aharon, summoned him to the office. When he arrived, Rav Aharon informed him that he was sending Rav Perr to St Louis for two weeks to fundraise for the yeshivah. Rav Perr was quite upset, not understanding why he was chosen to undertake such an uncomfortable mission. When Rav Aharon called him back, a few days later, to give him a list of homes he was to visit in St. Louis, Rav Perr built up the courage to ask Rav Aharon why he was responsible to go?
Rav Perr relates: “The Rosh Yeshivah paused an instant, gave me a piercing look, and then said in a tone that showed that he referred to far more than this matter: ‘Do you know why you are responsible? Because you can! That is why you are responsible.’”
Rav Perr concluded that the poignant message Rav Aharon conveyed was one that Rav Aharon lived by. He was constantly pushing himself to do more for klal Yisrael. It was clear that he felt that as long as he could, he had a responsibility to do.
Last week, Rav Yechiel Perr passed away at the age of 89. Judging from the little I know about Rav Perr from his lectures and the eulogies said about him, it’s quite clear that he internalized Rav Aharon’s message and incorporated them into his own life, as well.
He prioritized the mind over the base aspects of man, and somehow remained humble in the process.
He did because he could!
Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW, a rebbe at Heichal HaTorah in Teaneck, New Jersey, is a parenting consultant and maintains a private practice for adolescents and adults. He is also a member of the administration of Camp Dora Golding for over two decades. Rabbi Staum was a community rabbi for ten years, and has been involved in education as a principal, guidance counselor, and teacher in various yeshivos. Rabbi Staum is a noted author and sought-after lecturer, with hundreds of lectures posted on torahanytime.com. He has published articles and books about education, parenting, and Torah living in contemporary society. Rabbi Staum can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. His website containing archives of his writings is www.stamTorah.info.
