Dear Editor:
Hunter Biden, applying for a job at a large Gas and Electric Company in Ukraine
Job Title: To Be on the Board of Directors
Hunter: [through an interpreter] I understand you have a job opening.
Interviewer: Yes, we do. Let me ask you a few questions. Do you have any knowledge in “gas”?
Hunter: No, I don’t. Well…actually I do – a little. If you turn the knob on an oven to the right, a fire goes on.
Interviewer: You are correct. You undervalue yourself. You are quite knowledged. How about electricity?
Hunter: Well, if you put the switch on the wall to the up position, the light goes on.
Interviewer: Okay, I’m impressed! Great! I see, however, that you don’t speak or understand our language.
Hunter: No, I’m afraid not.
Interviewer: We won’t let that affect our decision. [Thinks for a while.] It’s obvious you have a vast knowledge and experience in this field. It’s extremely difficult to find someone with your qualifications. The job pays $83,000 per month plus superb benefits. Is that acceptable to you?
Hunter: It’s okay, if that’s the best you can do.
Interviewer: Great! The job is yours.
[They shake hands]
Interviewer: When can you start “doing nothing” so that we can pay you your well-deserved salary?
Hunter: I can start immediately.
Interviewer: Wonderful. One last question: Where do we send the payments?
Hunter: [Informs him on the manner of payment.]
Meyer Rudner