Question: Is it permitted to share with others a secret told to you in confidence?
Short Answer: No, a person, for multiple reasons, should not reveal secrets to others.
Explanation:
I. The Source
The Gemara (Yoma 4b) states that a person may not share information told to him privately by another person unless that other person gives express permission to share it. The Chofetz Chaim (Lashon HaRa, klal 9:6) codifies this Gemara and adds that it is only permitted to share the information after the secret-teller gives express permission if the secret does not concern lashon ha’ra.
II. In Front of Three
The Chofetz Chaim (Lashon HaRa, klal 2:13) rules that if someone speaks about his business (or similar matters) to three people, the listeners may share this information with others, unless the speaker expressly warns them not to share. (See Article #9, the opinion of Rashi).
The Chofetz Chaim further notes (B’eir Mayim Chayim, ibid, 27) that the requirement to have three listeners before being permitted to spread the information only exists where the speaker shares details about his business or something similar. A regular secret or private information (without express warning by the speaker not to spread it) may be shared with others.
What about the Gemara in Yoma (above) that appears to forbid sharing secrets? The Chofetz Chaim provides two answers. First, he suggests that the Gemara in Yoma is only a “midah tovah” (good behavior), but it is not forbidden to share non-business secrets that you are told with others. Indeed, the Rambam does not codify or mention this Gemara. Second, he suggests that it depends on the context. When the speaker invites the listener into his home and shares a secret with him, it is forbidden for the listener to share it with others, unless there are three listeners in the home. This is based on the Gemara in Yoma. However, if a person shares a secret with you in the supermarket or outside, there is no indication that he prefers that the secret stay private, and it may be shared with others (assuming it does not relate to business information).
The sefer Rosh HaM’dabrim (91) notes that the Chofetz Chaim appears to adopt the second reason, as the Chofetz Chaim (Lashon HaRa, klal 9:6) does adopt this Gemara as an “isur” and not just a “midah tovah.”
III. Derech Seiser
There is another halachah in the Chofetz Chaim that addresses secrets. In the laws of R’chilus (klal 8:5), the Chofetz Chaim, citing Rabbeinu Yonah (shaar 3, 225) rules that a person must not reveal anything told to him in secrecy (“derech seiser”) because doing so could cause damage to the secret-teller and because it violates the laws of tz’nius. It is forbidden even though it is not actually r’chilus. The source of this prohibition is the Gemara (Sanhedrin 31a) where a bachur in Rav Ami’s beis midrash revealed one of the “secrets of the beis midrash” that had been kept under wraps for 22 years. Rav Ami kicked the bachur out of the beis midrash.
IV. Spreading the Written Word
But what about spreading written secrets? Is it permitted to publish a journal that was meant to be private?
The B’Tzeil HaChochmah (4:84) addresses this question. A talmid chacham was niftar and his children wanted to publish his private written divrei Torah and halachic rulings, including rulings that were never sent via letter to others. The B’Tzeil HaChochmah first notes that the entire Gemara in Yoma is only a “midah tovah” and cites to the Meiri who holds this way. (The B’Tzeil HaChochmah does not cite to the Chofetz Chaim, however, who cites a machlokes about this and seems to rule that it is an actual prohibition). Accordingly, it is a mitzvah to publish the divrei Torah, as this mitzvah is “docheh” and supersedes any “midah tovah” not to reveal this written word. [Although outside the scope of this article, the B’Tzeil HaChochmah likewise addresses why it is permitted to go against the words of a dead person].
V. Hearing What You Shouldn’t Hear
But what about if you overhear something that was meant to stay a secret, but you were never expressly told by the secret-teller to keep it quiet, as he was never speaking to you directly?
Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein shlita (Chashukei Chemed 4b) notes that certainly according to the first reason of Rabbeinu Yonah, as cited in Chofetz Chaim, that revealing secrets can cause damage to the person whom the secret is about, it would be forbidden for a person to reveal (or even possibly hear) a secret, no matter how he heard the secret. It is unclear whether this prohibition would exist according to the second reason of Rabbeinu Yonah, as cited in Chofetz Chaim, that it is a breach of tz’nius.
Rabbi Ephraim Glatt, Esq. is Associate Rabbi at the Young Israel of Kew Gardens Hills and a practicing litigation attorney. Questions? Comments? Email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
