Highlighting: “A Voice From Sinai: Honor Your Father and Mother” by Rabbi Joel Grossman. Independently published. 2025. 169 pages. ISBN-13: 979-8298739481.
Approaching the Yomim Noraim reminds us of the liturgy of prayers that we will be reciting over the course of the month of Tishrei. Many of the tefillot are confessions of our flaws and our hopeful intent to once again work on improving these behaviors. The Al Chet Vidui that we recite 10 times during Yom Kippur brings us face to face with many areas in our lives that need improvement. Among them, one which is particularly painful, is “Al chet she’chatanu b’zilzul horim u’morim,” for the sin of disrespecting parents and teachers. Even for the most attentive of us, the possibility that we somehow were not sufficiently respectful to our parents is a daunting thought. Therefore, the publication of Rabbi Joel Grossman’s second work, “A Voice From Sinai” is a welcome tract at this time as it explores the mitzvah of “Honor Your Father and Mother” in both a scholarly and relatable format.
Published just two and a half years after his first volume, “Moreh Tefilla: Davening Shemoneh Esrei With Meaning,” Grossman has received many accolades on this new volume.
Among his haskamot is one from Rabbi Haim Jachter, rav of Shaarei Orah of Teaneck and a colleague of Rabbi Grossman’s for many years at TABC, who commented, ”I am thrilled to see that Rav Grossman is releasing a new sefer on the critical topic of Kibbud Av Va’Eim. As with his classroom Torah teaching, Rabbi Grossman is superlative. Moreover, as a close friend, I witnessed his extraordinary fulfillment of this mitzvah with his own father and mother. Whether they were well or ill, Rabbi Grossman fulfilled this mitzvah of Kibud Av Va’Eim with excellence.”
In another haskama, Rav Hershel Schachter writes a letter of praise to Rabbi Grossman for “exploring a mitzvah that many do not adhere to properly today even though it is mandated in the Aseret Hadibrot. It is a mitzvah that needs strengthening in our times more than many others. And Rabbi Grossman’s sources from Gemara and Shulchan Aruch are all authentic and will serve the readers well.”
Fittingly, Rabbi Grossman opens and closes his work with a tribute to his parents. His closing is particularly moving and gives us insight into his purpose in the volume. He writes: “All the Torah that I have been privileged to learn and pass on to my thousands of dear students is from my parents.” In the preface to his first published sefer, Dibros Moshe on Bava Kamma, Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, zt”l wrote: ‘Clearly it is not my merit that has granted me all that I have achieved. It is in the merit of my Father zt”l who was a great gaon and a humble tzaddik. His every act was for the sake of Heaven and he was unequaled in his Ahavas Ha’Torah and AhavasYisrael. In the same way I want to write about myself that all that I have achieved is not in my merit, but in the merit of my parents, who sacrificed so much for me. In 1983, after I had graduated from Yeshiva University and received Semicha from the Rav, Rav Charlop and Dr. Norman Lamm, I was approached to stay on and learn for Yadin Yadin Semicha to qualify to serve as a judge on a Jewish court. When I told my parents, their response was, ‘What an honor and privilege! Only worry about mastering the material. Any bill that comes your way, give to us and we will take care of it…When I started the program, Rabbi Nisson Alpert zt”l, the head of the YU Kollel and the greatest student of Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l said to me, ‘I want to learn one-on-one with you because I see in you what Rav Moshe saw in me.”
Grossman’s sources for his exploration of the topic of Kibbud Av Va’ Eim are cited from Masechet Kiddushin, Masechet Ketuvot 103 and Yoreh Deah, Chapter 240. Interspersed among the halachot and ma’amarei chazal are exemplary stories of Gedolai Yisrael. The following are three examples of these inspirational stories of giants in Torah practicing this mitzvah.
Rebbetzin Sarah Finkel, distinguished mother of Rabbi Nosson Finkel, beloved Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivas Mir Yerushalayim, shared the following. “My two sons were always very makpid regarding the mitzvah of Kibbud Av Va’Eim. As busy as my late son Rav Nosson Tzvi zt”’l was, he always made it a point to join me for breakfast every Friday morning before delivering his Friday morning vaad. Often on these Friday mornings, when I saw how difficult it was for him to walk up the few steps to my apartment because he suffered from Parkinson’s disease, I would excuse him from visiting me. But my pleas were to no avail. He kept up the visits during which he shared many wonderful experiences. Today, my younger son, Rav Gedalia, shlita, who delivers a daily shiur at the Mir, visits me every day in the early evening on his way home from Yeshiva. In addition, he calls me at least once or twice each day!”
“Rav Hershel Schachter wrote three seforim about his mentor HaRav Yosef Soloveitchik, zt”l. In his volume entitled Nefesh Harav, Rav Schachter relates the following story. For 25 years the Rav would fulfill the mitzvah of Kibbud Av Va’Eim after his father passed away by offering a yahrzeit shiur in his memory which was attended by hundreds. When his mother passed away, people asked the Rav if he would do the same so as not to diminish her loss. For that reason, the Rav made it his practice to teach Mishnayos in public on his mother’s yahrzeit.”
“Rav Aharon Lichtenstein, zt”l once came to TABC where I had the merit to teach for 29 years. All the students gathered in the beis midrash and were invited to ask Rav Lichtenstein any question they wanted. One talmid asked, ‘With due respect to the Rav, if your Yeshiva is the one that did all the research about chilazon, the animal from which the blue dye for the techeles comes, why don’t you wear techeles in your tzitzis? Rav Aharon answered, ‘Out of respect for my father-in-Law, the Rav. If he didn’t wear techeles, how can I?”
In just under 150 pages, Rabbi Grossman opens up the world of Kibbud Av Va’Eim for the reader in an engaging and scholarly format. The volume offers young and older readers a practical guide to the performance of a mitzvah that we pray we can observe for many years.
“A Voice From Sinai” by Rabbi Joel Grossman is available for purchase on Amazon.
By Pearl Markovitz
