I offended you with my opinion?  Ha, you should hear the ones I keep to myself.  Sooooo, when was the last time you got huffy, hot, or heated?  Sometimes we get triggered over an innocent comment not intended to cause any controversy whatsoever.  And it seems that society now changes daily how we speak, inventing new “terms” for nearly everything, so as “not to offend.”

We all know people who trip over themselves to get slighted by the most innocuous comment.  A drizzle is not a monsoon.  Respectful imitation is not evil appropriation.  Let’s be honest.  If you’re on a perennial quest to get insulted, trust me – you will find what you’re looking for, even when it ain’t there.  If you know how you feel about yourself, why would a random observation by a stranger or comment by a comedian affect you so deeply?  And should you let it?  Why do we allow trivial things to dictate our mood for the entire day?

After all, we are reacting to the words or actions of others; why, oh why, would we give them so much power over us?  At times, we even assume malicious intent without knowing all the facts.  Indeed, it does help to offer the benefit of the doubt.  Many folks out there are responding to hurt and stress in their own lives, and they are certainly not aiming at you – though it may feel that way.

“I’d like to leave you with one thought, but I’m not sure you’d have anywhere to put it.”  Lol or Ooops.  Take humor, for instance.  Or at least what it was, once upon a time.  You could always rely on good ole comedy to discuss topics that are nearly impossible to tackle in real life:  marriage, race, religion – even politics, Heaven forfend.  Comedy used to be able to hold up a mirror to us, making us laugh at ourselves and even playfully at one another.  And believe me when I say: There is nothing better, oftentimes, than a dose of humor.  Speaking of which…the problem with political jokes is that they get elected.  Heh.  Okay, is that good natured or distasteful?  What say you?

Some say that society has become so fake that the truth actually offends people.  Do you know anyone who gets peeved, pained, and annoyed by simple common sense?  Nothing to feel victimized by?  Hey, you can be offended by the easily offended.  Believe it or not, sometimes saying, “I’m offended” about a stranger’s opinion is basically telling the world that you can’t control your own emotions, so everyone else should do it for you.  Choose not to react, my friends.

And not for nothing, but if you are going to feel provoked all the time, perhaps the Internet is not the place for you.  Just think:  For every minute you are annoyed, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.

Of course, we all have to drive cautiously through this life.  People will most definitely turn on you with no signal; but a lot of what weighs you down is not yours to carry, sweet friends.  Let’s be honest: Some people enjoy complaining almost as much as they enjoy doing nothing about it.  Want to do something productive?  Stop Global Whining.

Before you get offended by this column, please let me assure you that there are plenty of legitimately insulting and upsetting things in our world, which most of us would readily agree on.  Indeed, it may be healthy to get disgusted and even morally outraged instead of justifying or simply accepting the “way things are.”  How many times have you heard someone say: “It is what it is.”  Hmmm…well, does it have to be?

In addition, being a highly sensitive person who feels deeply is not synonymous with one who is easily antagonized.  You are not a weakling or damaged goods simply because you feel things intensely.  You are actually truly alive and – most likely – very compassionate.  It is Society which has become emotionally disabled.  Please do not allow yourself to get weighed down by the suffering and heaviness in the world.  Try to see the transparency behind the walls people put up.  If someone mocks you, please remember that to belittle is to Be Little.

But please try not to spend too much of your precious time being incensed or indignant about minor or frivolous matters.  Most shadows are caused by standing in your own sunshine.  You know what they say: “Laugh and the world laughs with you.  Snore, and you sleep alone.”  Lol

We cannot control the external world, my friends, but we certainly can work on managing the inner one.  So picture your life as a big empty canvas.  Go ahead and toss as much paint as you can at it.


Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens.  She works with individuals, couples, and families.  Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends.  She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.  or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing. 

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