Did you ever have an unexplained feeling of emptiness? If you feel lonely or disconnected from others, please start by acknowledging and accepting those feelings. Allow yourself to feel heavy emotions. It’s all right.
Sure, it’s easier to ignore than to process feelings; but please do not. All of your emotions are important and deserve to be recognized. If you begin to reflect, you may be tempted to shame or blame. That self-criticism will do you no good at this time. Your coping skills, like numbing out, were actually an attempt to survive.
It’s crucial to identify the root cause of your feelings of neediness or emptiness. You may feel isolated from loved ones or from those whom you thought were true friends. Perhaps you are burned out from being overworked. You know how to avoid stress at work? Don’t go to work. But seriously, if you are going through a bad patch in life or feel as though you are suffering, you may simply go numb.
It may be tempting to focus on all that is missing. But please take a moment now and reflect on what you do have in life. What is it that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning? By the way, how soon after waking up is it okay to take a nap? You know what they say: Behind every successful day is a significant amount of coffee. But truly, if you simply have a roof over your head, please take a moment to acknowledge it. If there is anyone supportive in your life, be thankful for her.
It may seem trivial to count your blessings during times of suffering; but please take note of what you have to be grateful for. This can truly offer you a more hopeful, positive perspective despite the distress or deprivation you are going through.
Develop a healthy, daily routine in your life. Don’t forget to include some sort of physical activity, sleep, healthy food and fun activities to offer you something to look forward to. Every morning, I announce to my family that I’m going jogging. But then I don’t go. It’s a running joke. But truly, at night, review all the things you accomplished that day. It will offer you a tremendous sense of accomplishment.
Pay close attention to your thoughts, sweet friends. Are they stuck in the past? Do they constantly wander into the future? Try to engage with what is right in front of you now. It’s hard to ride those unpredictable waves of life; but you can do it.
Do you have healthy ways to channel your pent-up energy? Do something novel or productive. Try a new recipe or simply learn something new to stimulate your brain. You know the rule. Remember when cooking: If at first you don’t succeed, order pizza. Then again, the best things in life are fried, or at least sautéed.
Internal battles may need some external assistance at times. So please reach out to loved ones or trusted friends to offer you perspective or that shot in the arm you may need so desperately.
If you are on the path to self-healing, do not expect instant results. This is a journey, and healing will not happen overnight, sweet friends. Just make sure that every step you take is in the right direction.
A lack of insight into yourself can cause you to feel empty. Have some quality alone time to establish a strong sense of identity. Your relationships are the most important determinants of your happiness. Do you have someone you can truly open up to? Does he actively listen? Strive for emotional closeness. Please find fulfilling relationships but do not become overly dependent. She does not give you your self-worth or identity.
Focus on the here and now. You were meant to do something wonderful with your life. You can make a positive difference in this world. Perhaps it is time to discover what you were put on this Earth to do.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
