Would you like to deepen your connection with him? What do you think she fundamentally needs or wants? Indeed, we all have profound uncertainties and oftentimes do not feel solid at all. Most especially after that attempt to work out at the gym, eh? I decided to take a cardio class. I bent, lifted, twisted, and jumped up and down, and perspired for half an hour. But by the time I got my leggings on… the class was over.

She may be hiding behind her camouflage, yet she is longing for you to say something kind to her. Heck, I went to buy some camouflage shirts the other day, but I couldn’t find any. But seriously, he wants to hear that you are on his side. Let them know that you found yourself thinking of them during the day. When in doubt, reassure someone.

Revealing genuine affection for him may just strengthen his ability to endure his daily struggles. Most of us have a hard time even holding on to nourishing statements our loved ones make. We may try to tell ourselves reassuring thoughts, but when our friend says those same words, they are so much more inclined to stick.

We all live with doubts and ultimately suffer grief. Know that others feel loneliness or shame at times. We are truly a fragile species after all. We can never be masters of our circumstances. In the privacy of our minds, we fear lonesomeness.

You know what they say: “Life happens, coffee helps.” Take life one sip at a time, and stay grounded. When life gives you lemons, trade them for coffee.

But sincerely, you may talk but do not feel heard. You imagine that everyone else is happy. But many are just like us. They feel misunderstood and misjudged. Do you maintain an unlovable version of yourself? What is the fundamental truth about you?

There are a range of issues that we can be preoccupied with. None of your fears of the future are any reflection of what is truly likely to happen. What has colored your view of life? Do you realize how negatively biased you may be at times?

You may run into a range of events that threaten to upend everything you once believed in. In spite of your best efforts, your faith may get shaken. You lose trust in others. Yet, you can still strive for inner growth and wisdom. What is at stake?

If something rocked your world and has left you feeling unsafe, please do not lose perspective. Your inner world may be adding more dread and disquiet than the outer world is even offering. Do not allow yourself to believe that the end is near or that you cannot cope. It is not all over, sweet friends.

Your world may seem like a misery beyond compare. No, we cannot remove evil or heartache from the universe. But we can learn mental maneuvers to endure affliction. This will not magically remove the pain, but it can do away with some of the secondary, infuriating, or exasperating characteristics.

When you run into the difficulties of life, what do you tell yourself? Soothe yourself and reach out to a kindly friend who will put your mind to rest in a loving voice. She may help you recover your taste for life. He can support your effort to pick up the pieces. You can then approach the difficulty or challenge with serenity and even humor.

People do lose their wealth. You know what they say: Inflation is when you pay $15 for the $10 haircut you used to get for $5 when you had hair. Then again, this would be a much better world if more couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

But truly, bad things happen. Loved ones get sick. Relationships go wrong. Yet this is not a verdict on your right to exist and to love yourself. You are not your worst moments or mistakes. How do you interpret the tough and testing events in your life?

A lot can be fixed in this world. Do not add self-hatred to your already heavy burden. You have the capacity to move uphill. If your compassion does not include yourself, my friends – it is not complete. In a world where you can be anything at all – be kind.

Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens.  She works with individuals, couples, and families.  Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends.  She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.