We have all just experienced the most dreadful and horrific calamity and catastrophe. Have you been able to adequately process or even understand this collective trauma? Some of us feel utterly devastated and crippled, but under pressure to carry on with our lives. We may not give ourselves time to reflect or to even mourn.

Yet we truly need to emotionally assimilate our feelings, sweet friends. The memory and images of bloodshed, horror, and loss do not easily disappear from our consciousness. This trauma can cast a debilitating shadow on our day-to-day life.

This grievous blow was so heinous that our conscious minds cannot even neutralize it through rational examination. We may never truly move on from this unspeakable incident. We may remain angry or perennially fearful and sad. The legacy it may leave us with is dread or terror.

We are scared. It is an unnamable memory of terror or fear that has already happened. Yet, we remain apprehensive about the future. It has colored our view of reality. How did this change the way you think of the world?

Not everything in life is headed for disaster. Please come to realize this if you have been traumatized, my friends. We need not be close to panic for all of our days. Most of your fears are not likely to happen in the real world.

How negatively biased are your perceptions? In spite of your best efforts to remain resilient, this harrowing event may render you incapable of dealing with this sheer evil. How do we interpret this disaster without adding a whole new layer of pain and rage?

When you suffer a reversal, what does the voice in your head say to you? Interpreting some devastating events may prove to be utterly challenging. Some of us take these catastrophes worse than others.

We honor our spiritual lives and desperately try to access our deeper selves. We may need to look at life as though we are but a part of the entire cosmic drama. We must cease to worry about what may happen to our vulnerable selves in this uncertain future. We make peace with the laws of the universe that we cannot fathom.

Because of the structure of human existence, tragedies will befall us. Do not let it break your heart, sweet friends. For every broken heart, there is a loving friend with a glue gun.

How do we possibly cope? Tenderly love one another. Nurture each other. Insulate yourself from the horrors of the world. Develop deep friendships. Appreciate and cherish your daily life.

Release yourself from the grip of fear or apprehension. Despite that feeling of foreboding, try to be as kind as possible toward your own mind.

Present your mind with reassuring and kind-hearted ideas. Sometimes, the worst place you can be is in your own head. Do not allow destructive thoughts to rule over you. Where do you stand on the spectrum of self-love, my friends? Treat yourself hospitably.

There is a lack of mercy in this world. Focus on calm and gentleness. Master the art of self-compassion and do whatever heals you. Soothe yourself and each other. Access the inner voice that calms the waves of fear or hatred.

You are a good, valuable human being. Have faith that you can endure. Be a better friend to yourself. Sit with your loved ones and simply listen. Give her an unexpected, well-chosen gift.

Remind him that everything will be okay. Let her know that she is not alone in her feelings.

Surrender to your family’s hugs. De-escalate differences and embrace where you are and who you are. Be patient with yourself, sweet friends. Live in the present as much as possible. Caring for yourself is nothing short of an act of survival. And by all means please continue to live the life you love.

Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens.  She works with individuals, couples, and families.  Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends.  She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.