Earlier this week, Fox News Channel’s Chief Palace Correspondent, John Roberts, broke the horrifying details of a sinister deep-state plan that infiltrated the highest office in the land. Roberts detailed the account in his report on Tucker Carlson’s nightly show, and this disturbing story could have ripple effects that will be felt from Hodu to Kush. “This could only have resulted from a gross amount of incompetence, combined with truly awful government overreach,” Roberts asserted. “It really goes to show just how much our leadership here in Shushan wants to control your life.”
The issue at hand was King Achashveirosh’s new tax that he quietly enacted amid some sort of an internal scuffle between the King and his top adviser, Haman Agagi. Roberts also addressed this issue on his appearance with Carlson. “It seems as though Agagi, who is a known anti-Semite, tried to convince the King to allow him to murder all the Jews in the country. Once that was found out, Agagi and his followers were disposed of, his plan was stopped and we all just wanted to go back to living our regular lives.”
The tax seemed to strike a nerve within the Jewish community, as well. Sometimes Fox News contributor and host of one of the top podcasts in the world, Ish Yemini Shapiro, discussed the genocidal attempt by Agagi, and how it relates to the polarizing tax. “Achashveirosh is well known for his inability to surround himself with good people. I know [Haman]. I worked for him. Haman is a bad dude. Others in the King’s administration have been trying to get rid of him for, legitimately, years. But for the King to be so naïve as to allow a human piece of debris like Agagi to run roughshod over his administration for the last year, enacting a ton of laws specifically targeted at his political opponents and the Jewish people, and then to be shocked that he tried to commit a genocide under his nose is just asinine.” Shapiro revisited this later in his “Good King, Bad King” segment. He rated the appointment of Agagi and the allowing of an attempted mass genocide under his watch as Bad King, and the hanging of Haman and his sons as Good King. “But,” Shapiro continued, “none of this at all excuses this new tax that Achashveirosh is now trying to sneak through.”
Sean Hannity echoed this sentiment on his show later that evening. “Listen, there is no conceivable way the King can justify this tax. He messed up. Agagi rose to power under his watch. If you are in charge, you are responsible for your subordinates. But the King allowed Agagi to orchestrate his plan under his drunken nose, and finally he stops the plan AT THE URGING OF HIS WIFE; and now, to repair the damage that he allowed to happen, the citizens of this great nation have to pay for it? I’m telling you, the people of Persia will not stand for this kind of governmental overreach.”
At a press conference on Monday, Achashveirosh surrogate Ben Carsonah was bombarded with questions related to the tax increase. “Listen,” Carsonah responded sleepily. “This king has a high approval rating among the people, and the people of this country will understand that sometimes we must increase taxes in order to improve the infrastructure of our wonderful cities. This money will be used to erect walls to ensure that people like Haman Agagi and his followers are never allowed to enter the country again.”
This explanation from Carsonah did not go over well with Laura Ingraham, who commented, “We understand that Achashveirosh wants to further his agenda and build these walls, walls that I actually support. But using the excuse of incompetence and racism among his own officials as a means to get that money is immoral, and we will not stand for it.”
This new tax seems to be a talking point among all Fox News contributors, who until now had been clearly in Achashveirosh’s corner. The added taxation story has completely dominated their airwaves since the bombshell report dropped. It is such a heavy topic on the network that it seems to have completely overshadowed any coverage of the fact that the number-two man in the country attempted a mass genocide on an entire group of people. When asked by a guest why he chose not to cover this part of the story, Hannity replied, “because nothing happened. No Jews died. The bad guy was stopped, and his followers were defeated. There really are no long-lasting effects of Agagi’s plan other than this tax, and I believe that is the story the Persian people need to understand.”
However you choose to look at it, the Jewish citizens of Shushan, and indeed the entirety of Persia, certainly dodged a bullet this year. We certainly hope they don’t use this as an opportunity to use this exciting news as a chance to completely reverse their morality for one day out of the year every year for the rest of time.
Izzo Zwiren is the host of The Jewish Living Podcast, where he and his guests delve into any and all areas of Orthodox Judaism.
