Opinion

Dear Goldy,

I have done every segulah anyone ever mentioned to me (and my mother). I’ve davened, been to Amukah several times, recited Shir Hashirim for a month several times throughout the past years, and have worn my friends’ jewelry at their chupos. I’ve visited shadchanim up and down the East Coast, in Israel—wherever or whomever I’m told to go to, I go, even to mekubalim. It got so that one of my co-workers told me to find a shadchan in Bermuda so I can take a vacation while trying to find my bashert. There’s nothing I won’t do to try and move on to the next stage of my life. And I do it all with a smile. I haven’t had any terrible dating experiences, but the guys I’m being set up with aren’t right. They’re close, but not right. And no, I don’t say no to everyone. Many times, I have been the heartbroken one when the relationship ends because the guy didn’t see a future with me beside him.

Dear Goldy,

Tell me if I’m worried for nothing or if I should say something—and if I should say something, then to whom? My son is engaged to a beautiful, wonderful girl. This issue came to be a month ago. I let it go, but now, I’m starting to wonder. I don’t want to sound like a typical shvigar or to put my nose into something I have no business doing. I decided to write you.

Dear Goldy,

I may be out of tune with how the younger generation dates, but I don’t think I’m so out of tune that what my son told me is totally correct.

This may be an odd title for this article because Groundhog Day passed a month ago and I’m not discussing the movie of the same name, so why did I pick the title? According to my friend Google, who seems to know everything, she said that referring to something as a Groundhog Day means a situation feels like it’s repeating endlessly, stuck in a loop of the same monotonous, frustrating, or boring events, referencing the movie where the character relives the same day repeatedly. What am I repeating? What are the monotonous events I’ve been living through? It’s not that; it’s the fact that for the past few weeks I have received many letters that have discussed the same issue.

Dear Goldy,

Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t believe someone should introduce the person they’re dating to family and friends until it’s established the relationship is going somewhere—or even wait until after the engagement. Why bother meeting and getting to know people if the relationship fizzles quickly? That’s what makes meeting the other person’s circle of friends and family all the more special, because then you know you will all be a part of each other’s lives for years to come.

Dear Goldy,

I’m in my upper 30s and have been dating for a long time. Your articles have actually helped me through some situations I’ve gotten into.