Opinion

We all know the feeling of being involved in an argument and having the greatest one-liner, a real zinger. But instead of having your mic-drop moment where you can leave knowing you had indeed won the argument or proven your point, you say nothing. The comment would be 100% truthful, but would hit below the belt. You would be the victor, but at what price? Making someone feel bad or embarrassing them? Is it worth the pain that the other person may feel so you can have your mic-drop moment? Think about it. Life goes on, and this moment will be a blip—or less than a blip—on your radar in a year or two. But the other party may feel the aftershocks of what is now a distant memory for you in the years to come.

Sometimes people need to be reminded of how to date, and when I say “How To…” I mean getting back to basics. I’m not talking about how to be suave or to “play the game.” I’m not into that. With all the crazy dating stories I’ve heard from people, read about, been asked about… my mouth just hangs open in disgust and/or amazement depending on what I’m told. I’m left speechless. In honor of all of those, I’m getting us all back to the simple basics of dating. Start with these five common-sense tips and hopefully there will be many dates in your future.

What could be a better title for this time of year? If you’re like me, you’re constantly making lists every week about errands or what to shop for. Others make lists only when the Yomim Tovim come around; this way they remember what to buy, how many of it, who to invite for what meal... But yes, this time of year, many people make a Chanukah list - whether it be whom to invite for the party, what to make, who’s making what, and what to buy for whom (but there’s no reason to break the bank over Chanukah gifts. I’m not here to lecture about that). While you all may be thinking that I’m referring to that type of list, I’m not. It’s the list of prerequisites people have for whom they choose to date.

I will warn readers that the topic I chose to write about is very sensitive. Some may take offense that the QJL, “a family paper,” chose to print an article such as this. But as I have said many times, I won’t shy away from topics that make people uncomfortable. This is a newspaper and an issue that is occurring more and more in the frum community. I felt that this was the time to address it. I say that because I have received a number of letters like this one. I chose this letter (received three months ago) because it was the most family-friendly with the language used.

Dear Goldy,

I have twin daughters amongst my other children. I’m specifically writing about them because they are in the parsha and bh, I’m busy with them. I’ll refer to them as Rifky and Malky. I meet shadchanim, go to meetings and my girls get out there and go to singles events too. Both are looking for a different type of boy, so it’s like doing double duty, literally.

Dear Goldy,

I want to know what your opinion is.