This week, I attended a seminar sponsored by Alei Siach, a not-for-profit organization where I work, which meets the needs of disabled people in the chareidi-dati society in accordance with halachah. The highlight of the seminar for me was a speech given by Tzvika Mor, an educator, life coach, and father of eight, including his son Eitan, currently being held captive in Gaza.
On Simchas Torah day, Tzvika was unaware of the horrific massacre that had taken place in Gaza. He had heard something about a kidnapping in Sderot but assumed this was the work of a terrorist or two. At 4 p.m., his brother’s name appeared on the screen when his phone rang. Since it was Shabbos, he assumed that one of his little nephews had accidentally called him. Shalosh seudos time, when his phone rang again, the name of his other brother appeared on his Caller ID. It didn’t seem possible that another nephew had accidentally called him. He thought that maybe something had happened to his parents. As Shabbos would soon be over, he didn’t answer the phone. When he returned from shul after Shabbos, he walked into his home and found his entire family crying.
They told him that nobody knew where Eitan was. Tzvika didn’t understand the problem. They had spoken to Eitan on Erev Shabbos. He was in Yerushalayim. Eitan had not mentioned his plan to be a guard at the Nova concert in Re’im.
Tzvika was told of the fate of his son by others who were with him at the time. When the horrific massacre began, Eitan had been at the festival with Elyakim Liebman, his friend from Kiryat Arba. As they attempted to escort a group of people to safety, they stumbled upon the bodies of two girls who had been murdered. Others who were with them wanted to leave the bodies, but Eitan and Elyakim tried to carry them so that they could bring them to kever Yisrael. Suddenly, they were surrounded by gunshots and rockets. People nearby were killed, and Eitan and Elyakim were kidnapped into Gaza.
At first, Eitan was considered missing. Ten days later, Tzvika received a phone call from Gal Hirsch, the current coordinator of POWs and missing persons. Gal told Tzvika that he would be coming to Tzvika’s home that evening with a representative from the welfare department to update him and his family about his son. Tzvika asked Gal to tell him what he had to say, but Gal said he would only do so that evening. Tzvika and his family feared the worst. He went to daven Maariv in case he would soon become an onein and would not be permitted to daven. While his family sat waiting for Gal, Tzvika opened the door to their home so they would avoid hearing the dreaded knock that, in times of war, often precedes the delivery of bad news. Gal Hirsch arrived and informed them that Eitan had been kidnapped and was being held captive in Gaza. Having expected the worst, the family rejoiced when they heard the news.
Once Tzvika had absorbed the news to some degree, he asked himself, what role has Hashem given us now? Tzvika shared three ideas that he thinks we should all keep in mind:
- We cannot allow our private pain to overcome us. The survival of am Yisrael takes priority. Just as Matisyahu continued to fight when his son Yehudah HaMakabi died, so, too, must we put aside our personal pain to save am Yisrael. With all his pain and concern, Tzvika went to fight with the tzanchanim, the paratroopers. Tzvika doesn’t forget about his son, but he doesn’t let it get in the way of his doing what he needs to do.
- While we should do what we can to secure the release of the hostages, our primary goal must be to win the war. Tzvika believes that if we show weakness now, our enemies will understand that they can continue to hurt us. They must know that they should never dare start with us.
- We must prevent any agreement that resembles the Shalit deal in which 1,048 terrorists were released in exchange for one Israeli soldier. Those who were released, including Yahya Sinwar y”sh, returned to terror. As far as Tzvika is concerned, there are not 137 hostages. There are seven million hostages. Every citizen of Israel is now being held hostage by Hamas. We must not do anything that will hurt any of the seven million.
Tzvika states that we must make the transition from the love of Jews to the love of the Jewish nation. Every fighter demonstrates that he loves am Yisrael more than he loves himself and his family. The chayalim are willing to sacrifice themselves if necessary to prevent further bloodshed. They must be willing to sacrifice themselves for the klal, or there will be no klal.
Tzvika believes that we are currently fighting on two fronts. The easier one is the war for our physical survival. It’s a grueling fight, but b’ezras Hashem, we will win. The more challenging war is for the spirit of am Yisrael. Hundreds of thousands of kids don’t know why they are here in Israel. They don’t understand what am Yisrael is. If we don’t raise our children with a connection to the holiness of Eretz Yisrael, we won’t last here. We didn’t return to Eretz Yisrael to be like every other nation. We are meant to be a mamleches kohanim v’goy kadosh.
Tzvika explained that Torah is the essence of life. Without the influence of the Torah, all areas of life break down. Unfortunately, the State of Israel is not run according to the Torah. He quoted Rav Silman, the Av Beis Din of the Beis Din of Rav Nissim Karelitz of Bnei Brak, who says that we dedicate our lives so that our State will be a Jewish State, not a State for Jews. Tzvika believes that we can make this happen. If we approach people with modesty and listen to them, we can bring about change.
Tzvika is doing all he can to spread his message. He does several interviews every day. When he tells people that his son is no more important than they are, they can’t argue with him.
Sometime before the war, Tzvika’s children were discussing the Shalit deal. At that time, Eitan said that if he is ever kidnapped by terrorists, they should not secure his release by letting out murderers.
Many of the families of captives have been promoting a message that the government should pay whatever price Hamas demands to release the hostages. Tzvika believes that we need to sit with each of them individually and listen to them. They are in pain, and we should not judge them.
A very contentious meeting took place last week between the families of captives and the War Cabinet. The mother of a nine-year-old and a six-year-old in captivity was so distraught that she collapsed and required medical attention. It was heartbreaking. At the end of the meeting, Prime Minister Netanyahu spoke for a few seconds with each family member. Tzvika spoke with him last. He told Netanyahu to listen to the families and cry with them. After that, he should do what is best for am Yisrael.
Tzvika recently formed the Hope Forum, a group of hostages’ families who support the decision of the War Cabinet to continue fighting to pressure Hamas to release the hostages. The Hope Forum is comprised of families who are uncomfortable with the general tone of the existing group of families of hostages and thus formed a group more aligned with the messages in this article.
It is a challenging time for Tzvika and his family, but he believes Hashem prepared him for this experience throughout his life. He stresses the importance of living a life with meaning. Rather than spending the day worrying about Eitan, Tzvika and his family busy themselves with chesed. Tzvika is sure that Eitan, a big baal chesed, is now doing chesed for other captives, as well.
Tzvika and his family receive much support from their community in Kiryat Arba and are strengthened by the letters and messages of support they receive. He is hopeful that our leaders will have the strength to destroy Hamas to the end.
Meanwhile, Tzvika carries around a poster of a picture of his son. Tzvika hugs the poster. We hope that Tzvika will soon be reunited with his son and will be able to hug him in person. Please daven that Eitan Avraham ben Efrat returns home safely together with the other hostages, and please continue to daven for the success and safe return of all the chayalim and security personnel.
Suzie Steinberg, (nee Schapiro), CSW, is a native of Kew Gardens Hills and resident of Ramat Beit Shemesh who publishes articles regularly in various newspapers and magazines about life in general, and about life in Israel in particular. Her recently published children’s book titled Hashem is Always With Me can be purchased in local Judaica stores as well as online. Suzie can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and would love to hear from you.
