Each individual has his or her own perception of reality, his own view on religion, and his own ideas about leadership. Every religion, as well, has its own perceptions and views on these topics; and just as a person’s views serve as a gateway into understanding his inner beliefs and values, a religion’s views serve a window into its inner beliefs and value system. When examining the Jewish approach to leadership, it’s fascinating to note how diametrically opposed Jewish leadership is to other versions of leadership. In Parshas Emor, the Torah states that the Kohen Gadol (High Priest) must be married (21:13). While some other religions require spiritual leaders to remain celibate, Judaism requires the opposite. Is it not true that physicality and a physical relationship can deter one from spiritual perfection? Why then do we require our leaders to immerse themselves in something as physical as marriage? Other religions believe that abstaining from the physical is the sole path towards spirituality. Why and where does our view differ? In order to understand this, we must first understand the nature and role of kohanim.

Three Categories of Leadership

There are three classes of Jewish leadership: The Melech (king), the Sanhedrin (courts), and the Kohanim (priests). While all three serve both practical and religious roles, each category maintains its own unique purpose in enabling the Jewish People to connect to Hashem and fulfill their purpose. The Melech serves as an embodiment and manifestation of Hashem in this world, completely negating his ego and serving as a transparent vessel to reveal Hashem in this world. The Sanhedrin upholds Jewish ideals in society, ensuring that the Jewish People live up to their lofty purpose and live in accordance with Torah law. The kohanim are charged with helping the Jewish People uplift themselves and connect with Hashem.

The role of the kohanim is to guide the Jewish people in their spiritual and religious journey, helping them build and perfect their relationship with Hashem. A kohen is therefore responsible for the Jewish people’s spiritual well-being. This is achieved through their avodah (Divine service) in the Beis HaMikdash (Temple). In order to understand how their avodah creates a stronger connection between the Jewish people and Hashem, let us briefly review the nature of the Beis HaMikdash.

Beis HaMikdash: Place of Connection

Chazal cryptically refer to the Beis HaMikdash as the “mouth” of the world. This is because each of the three functions of the mouth serves as means of connection. Eating connects the physical body to the angelic soul, speaking connects people’s inner worlds together, and kissing connects two physical bodies together, reflecting a deeper form of internal connection and oneness. So, too, the Beis HaMikdash serves as the “mouth” of the world, as it is the focal point where Hashem connects to this physical world.


Just as people connect with each other through the mechanism of speech, Hashem spoke directly to the Jewish people, specifically from the Beis HaMikdash. The pasuk (T’rumah 25:22) explicitly says that Hashem will speak to Moshe from between the two k’ruvim (chrerubs).


Just as the universal expression of love and connection is kissing, the Beis HaMikdash is also where Hashem “kisses” the world. The Gemara (Bava Basra 74a) states that the Beis HaMikdash is the point where the spiritual heavens kiss the physical earth. In other words, this is where the infinite and spiritual meet the finite and physical. This is where Hashem most potently connects to the physical world, where Hashem and klal Yisrael embrace in the closest and most intimate relationship.


Just as our physical body needs to eat in order to maintain its connection to our spiritual soul, the physical world needs to eat in order to maintain its connection to the spiritual soul of the world, Hashem. The Ramban explains that the concept of korbanos is embodied in the word karov, which means to bring close. The Nefesh HaChaim (2:9) and the Kuzari (2:26) explain that korbanos are the “food” that fuels the connection between Hashem and the physical world. Just as we eat to connect our soul to our body, korbanos have the same effect.

Kohanim: Creating this Connection

The role of the kohanim is to foster the connection between both Hashem and this world and Hashem, and Hashem and the Jewish People. Through their avodah in the Beis HaMikdash, the place of connection, the kohanim connect the physical to the spiritual, and the Jewish people to their Source. This idea is expressed in the word “kohen” itself. The g’matria (numerical value) of kohen is 75, halfway between 70 and 80. The Maharal explains that seven is the number of the natural; therefore, all physical and natural components of this world are built off sevens: seven days in the week, seven notes in the musical scale, seven colors in the spectrum of light. Eight represents going beyond the natural, which is why bris milah is done on the eighth day. We take the most physical and potentially animalistic organ and use it to transcend. This is also why the miracle of Chanukah lasted eight days, and why it came through shemen (oil), the same shoresh (root) as sh’monah, the number eight. It is therefore no surprise that the g’matria (numerical value) of “kohen” is 75, the number directly between 70 and 80. The role of the kohen is to connect the lower with the higher, the physical to the spiritual, the finite to the infinite. This is achieved specifically in the Beis HaMikdash (and previously the Mishkan), the ultimate place of connection.

The Kohen Gadol Must be Married

We can now understand why the Kohen Gadol must be married. The Kohen Gadol embodies the ultimate paradigm of k’hunah; he is the paragon of connecting klal Yisrael to Hashem, connecting the infinite to the finite. As we explained in Parshas Acharei Mos, in order to impact others, you must first invest in yourself. This is why Aharon first brought a korban for himself, and only afterwards brought one for all of klal Yisrael. In order to help klal Yisrael connect with Hashem through a korban of connection, he must first ensure that his own personal connection with Hashem is properly established. So, too, before helping klal Yisrael connect with Hashem – a relationship that Chazal refer to as a marriage – Aharon had to first develop his own marriage, his own experience of connection and oneness.

Marriage Is the Paradigm of Expanding Your Sense of Self

Marriage is the ultimate opportunity to give yourself fully over to another person. This is why the Gemara (Kiddushin 41a) presents marriage as the paradigm for fulfilling V’ahavta l’rei’acha kamocha. Marriage is the first opportunity someone has to completely give himself over to someone else. Once you love yourself, you can expand your sense of self to include your spouse, your family, your friends, your community, and then all of klal Yisrael. You can then expand outwards even further to connect with all of humanity, the entire world, and eventually the entire universe. You can then root yourself back to the source of all self, Hashem Himself. And while Hashem is the root of all existence, and is therefore the last step in this process, He is also manifest within everything in this world, and is therefore present within every stage. The goal, therefore, is be aware of Hashem within every relationship you build: within yourself, your friendships, your marriage, and your connection with all of klal Yisrael.

The Next Step

The Kohen Gadol must first undergo the process of marriage himself, experiencing the transformative effects of an expanded sense of self, before he can then progress to include all of klal Yisrael within this sense of self. Only once he has achieved this, is he ready to help klal Yisrael build the ultimate connection and “marriage” with Hashem. The Kohen Gadol now understands the meaning of true connection, oneness, and love in his own personal marriage, and simultaneously, in the process of doing so, has built a deeper love and connection with all of klal Yisrael, as well. Now, he is able to help klal Yisrael connect with Hashem.

K’doshim Tihyu

We now come full circle. Last week, we read the words “k’doshim tihyu” – you shall be holy. This is not a call to be transcendent, angelic beings, lofty and perfect, beyond the struggle innate within the human condition. This is not permission to deny our humanity and restrict our sense of self. This is a calling to be human, to be the ultimate human, to bring transcendence and spirituality into this world. We don’t aim to escape this world; we aim to transform it. K’dushah in not transcendence or escapism; it’s marrying transcendence with the imminent.

The same is true for our spiritual leaders. We don’t seek leaders who transcend human struggle and temptation, sit on mountaintops meditating on their navel. Our leaders are individuals who embrace the physical, uplift it, and connect it to the infinite. Each of us is a leader in one’s own way; each of us has a unique mission in this world. May we be inspired to build something powerful, sensational, and transformative within ourselves and then seek to impact the lives of others with our unique talents, helping to build connection and oneness in this world.

Shmuel Reichman is an inspirational speaker, writer, and coach who has lectured internationally at shuls, conferences, and Jewish communities on topics of Jewish Thought and Jewish Medical Ethics. He is the founder and CEO of Self-Mastery Academy (www.ShmuelReichman.com), the transformative online course that is revolutionizing how we engage in self-development. You can find more inspirational lectures, videos, and articles from Shmuel on his website: www.ShmuelReichman.com.