Feelin’ Funny: Mordechai Schmutter

How lucky are we to be living in an age when we don’t have to be able to identify different types of trees by looking at their leaves or their bark or whatever?  If we had to, I’d be dead in a day.

It’s summer, and you all know what that means – time to stand outside and shvitz over the heat of your barbecue grill.  We should grill when it’s cold, and that way we can enjoy the heat.  But this is not something we thought of, because it’s men in charge of cooking on grills.  If it was women, barbecue season would be the winter, 100%.  They’d already be wearing mittens!  This is so stupid. 

I have a theory about why brick and mortar stores are going away.

It’s the internet.

This week’s topic, which is really not funny, is:

TEACHING YOUR CHILD TO DRIVE: A CRASH COURSE

I actually started talking about this last week, and last week’s tips boiled down to: Try to push off the actual driving for as long as possible.  For example, I pushed off all the actual driving tips to this week’s article.  But eventually, you have to buckle down and do it or else your editors will start losing their patience.  Or whatever.

I just started a new exercise regimen; it’s called walking.  I don’t know if you’ve heard of it.  Apparently it’s been around for a while?

Congratulations! Your child has passed his or her driving permit test, despite your tefillos! He has never passed a written test in his life, but this one he passed just fine. You half expected the DMV to call you in for a conference after the test.