Feelin’ Funny: Mordechai Schmutter

One of the trickiest Pesach minhagim that some families have -- my own family included -- is that we don’t sell real chometz. I’m not sure what we sell. We do sell something, I know that. I do take time off on the busiest week of the year and go to a rav and tip him money in a secret handshake for doing something. The shtar says I’m selling him chometz. I’m not sure what, though. There’s no chometz that a non-Jew will find in my house that I didn’t find in three months of cleaning. Where is he looking? I think I’m mostly selling the hard bits on the dishes.

I’m on the phone.

No one loves sitting on the phone with customer service, but you’d think that the most efficient companies for this – the ones that the others should look up to as the model of how things should be done – are the cell phone companies.  They should have it all figured out.  But instead, using a phone to call a phone number to activate an entirely different phone than the one you’re on is not any easier than buying a new computer using the computer you have that you’re looking to replace. 

It’s that time of year – all the yeshivas and shuls are making dinners, so that everyone can get together for a night of chizuk and community and trying very hard not to say that this is all about the money.

It’s that time of year – all the yeshivas and shuls are making dinners, so that everyone can get together for a night of chizuk and community and trying very hard not to say that this is all about the money.

So I’m still on the phone.

If you don’t recall from last week’s article, or have blocked it out, I’m currently trying to transfer phone service from an old flip phone to a new flip pone, and also transfer my number so the five people who have it will be able to contact me.

If you have boys, at some point they’re going to break some bones.  I mean girls break their bones too, but not really more than adults, I don’t think.  Boys are more likely, when you ask, “How did that happen?” for them to tell you an activity that was not super necessary in the first place.  The kind of activity that when you consider doing it yourself, you say, “Nah, I don’t really have for a broken arm today.”