Self-worth is essential to every aspect of your life. Your parents may have tried to foster healthy self-esteem as do you as a parent. You know you’re a parent when the majority of your diet is made up of the foods that your kid didn’t finish. And don’t you hate it when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago; it looks like a potato. Then again, I heard it said: I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
But truly, most of us are not mindful of some of the mistakes we make. How has your childhood negatively affected you? Did your parents compare you to your brother or other friends?
Did your mom say things like: Why can’t you be more like your friend? That can simply make you jealous of others’ accomplishments later in life. Perhaps you internalized the negative comments your parent made about your weight or appearance. The doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. Sheesh. Managing your weight around the holidays just requires a little planning. For example, I took the batteries out of my scale today.
But seriously, you can end up mercilessly criticizing yourself. But don’t fret. It’s been observed: Sometimes people with the worst pasts end up creating the best futures.
Please refrain from constantly comparing yourself to him. You can end up feeling as though you never measure up. If there are things about yourself that you simply cannot control, you must gracefully accept them, sweet friends. It will take a huge emotional toll on you to forever denigrate and deprecate yourself. Do you truly focus on your strengths? What are they?
Did your parents insist on your meeting all their expectations? Did they force you to conform to the behaviors that the neighbors deemed proper? That can actually cause you to rebel and become aggressive later in life.
Do not be afraid to make mistakes, please. It will test your resilience and determination. If loved ones ridiculed you or told you that your dreams and aspirations are foolish or impractical, you might end up settling for the kind of life your parents wanted for you. What happened to your hopes and visions?
Make it a habit to do things that make you feel good. Wearing those new boots? Oh, me? I’m ready for a reboot, as you can see. Okay, I’ve got a new pair of boots. Now, can someone tell me how to pull myself up by their straps?
Working out and lifting at the gym, or cooking that fabulous ever so healthy meal? Speaking of which, does running late count as exercise? They say: America has got to be the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer.
When was the last time you actually did something exciting that you enjoy? If you haven’t, then why not? Be internally motivated, sweet friends.
Stop focusing and overly obsessing about why you think you are anxious. Look instead at how you feel about yourself. If you truly do not like yourself very much, you have an above average risk of suffering from anxiety and apprehension. After all, if you do not believe you are worthy, it may seem as though the world is forever punishing you in one way or another.
Nervousness can be a pre-emptive anticipation of pain you might be feeling in the future. No need to be agitated over things out of your control, sweet friends. Dispel your uneasiness by loving and feeling tenderly toward yourself.
If you have an unfair habit of disliking yourself, you may find life challenging or even punishing. Even when you achieve something, you may brush it off. Some of us seem to have trouble fitting in, and this causes us to feel “less than” or simply disconnected.
What is your place in the Universe, sweet friends? Do you have someone special to turn to in times of need? People may or may not be grateful that you are in their life. Do cultivate meaningful relationships. You think you love your family, but suddenly there are three of you and one remaining slice of pizza. But honestly, do not set unrealistically high expectations for yourself. And please do avoid toxic social media at least for a while.
Define yourself by the good, not bad things in your life. Do not discount all the wonderful things about you, and do not resign yourself to a miserable fate. Self-love will determine if you can truly be your own friend. Please do not let anyone rent a space in your head unless they’re a good tenant.
Stay tall in the saddle, sweet friends. It’s been said: Don’t limit your challenges; challenge your limits.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
