In honor of Rachel Imeinu’s yartzeit, I’d like to share with you a story which happened last year. To be mevater means to have the strength to give in and give up what one desires. Not from defeat and giving up, that’s why I’ll give in, but from the strength to give in because there’s something more important than winning, like a relationship for example. Sometimes one can be mevater on getting something, and it could also be being mevater on one’s feelings. If one was hurt by the other, they can mevater wholeheartedly.
This isn’t just forgiving; rather it’s giving up on any claim they could have against the other. Rachel Imeinu was mevater on her dreams, and at the same time relied on Hashem to take of her. Not that she did it in order to be rewarded, but that she had bitachon and relied on Hashem to take care of her. This is what gives her such a z’chus that it’s her prayers which will help redeem us from this long golus.
Our story began last year, soon after the war in Eretz Yisrael began, in the month of Cheshvan. Eli and Eliana are a kolel family living in Eretz Yisrael. Eliana’s Uncle Jay called her from the States. He said that he knows someone in Eretz Yisrael, Yankel Levovitz, who was collecting money to buy badly-needed supplies for Israeli soldiers, and he wanted to donate. However, Yankel only had an Israeli bank account. So, could Uncle Jay please send dollars to Eli and Eliana’s dollar account, and they would exchange it for shekalim to transfer to Yankel from their Israeli account? Eliana replied, “of course.” Uncle Jay gave her Yankel’s number, and requested that she please call Yankel as soon as possible. She said she’d do it soon. He began to pressure her, “the soldiers are desperate, call now…” She said fine. This was all done with five kids hanging onto her skirt. Uncle Jay transferred the dollars to her, which equaled to 400 shekels.
Eliana called Yankel. He gave her the bank information. Then she began to repeat it back to him, and he stopped her, saying hold on, that was an old account he had closed. Sorry, here’s the correct information. He told it to her, she repeated it back to him, with six kids hanging onto her skirt (one more just came home), he confirmed, and she performed the transfer, 400 shekels.
Two days later, Uncle Jay called Eliana. Yankel Levovitz never got the money! Call him right now! Eliana wondered, how that could be; she had sent it! She called Yankel and he confirmed that he never received anything. She told him the account info, and he said that it wasn’t his account number. Not even close! She screeched, “what?? I went over it with you!” He said, “sorry; call your bank.”
Eliana told Eli what happened. They decided not to tell Uncle Jay just yet. Eli called their bank, and the bank said that since the transfer was to a different bank, once it’s sent it couldn’t be recalled. But give them a week and they’d try.
Uncle Jay called again. Eliana said it’s being dealt with; the bank needs time.
Two days later, Eli checked their bank, and saw 400 shekels, with a comment “refunded”! Great, now they could do the transfer. He called Yankel and asked for the transfer info. Yankel gave it, different than the previous (two), and Eli reviewed it and verified it with him a few times. Then Eli performed the transfer and sent Yankel a copy of it.
The next day, Yankel contacted Eliana that he saw the money, shkoyach. She called Uncle Jay and told him. He was very happy to hear it, and thanked her for her help.
A few days later, Eli checked their account and saw that the bank had withdrawn 400 shekels, with an apology that they couldn’t reverse the original transfer! Huh? Eli called the bank, and they explained that the refunded money was only a temporary loan until they could reverse the transfer. However, since they couldn’t, they were taking it back. Eli begged them to try again and trace the money. The bank said they’d try but no promises.
Eli and Eliana were just slightly upset. Okay, more than slightly. The were a kolel family, and even though 400 shekels wasn’t that much overall (about $110 at the time), it wasn’t a loss they could easily afford. They were upset and frustrated with Uncle Jay for being pressuring, at Yankel for messing up and giving them the wrong information more than once, at the bank, and frustrated with themselves for perhaps not being more careful (read: for not being in control). They tried telling themselves that it was a test from Hashem and He’d take care of them, but the bad feelings remained.
Eli suggested the following to Eliana. It was around the time of Rachel Imeinu’s yartzheit. They’d try to emulate her and be mavater. Not per-say on the money, that’s either already lost, or maybe the bank would get it back to them. They’d focus on being mevater on their feelings to all parties involved. To Uncle Jay, he only wanted to help. To Yankel Levovitz, he only wanted to help. And the bank is only following their rules. They’d be mevater on all our feelings, and wouldn’t say anything to any of them. In Rachel Imeinu’s merit, they should merit to see good things from this.
Eliana agreed to try. They carried on, not saying anything to anybody, and worked to remove all the hard feelings.
The next day, Eli was in his kolel, and during the lunch break was called over by one of the rabbis. He told Eli that he had some extra money to give out to the kolel members, and could Eli use some financial help? Now, this rabbi usually gave out bonuses before Yom Tov, and Eli had noticed him occasionally giving other people extra money, but this was the first time he ever approached Eli. Eli answered yes, and the rabbi handed him a closed envelope wishing him success in his learning. Eli warmly thanked him and put the envelope away. Only later that day did Eli open it. How much was inside? You guessed it. Four hundred shekel.
But the story doesn’t end there. (Eli checked with the bank a week later, but they replied that they weren’t able to do anything about the lost transfer.) About two weeks later, Eliana went to a simchah and met one of her good friends. The friend called Eliana aside and said that her brother had given her an envelope to give to a serious kolel family, and she thought of Eliana. Eliana said, “Baruch Hashem we make it, but we can always use a boost.” Her friend gave her the envelope. After Eliana got home, she told Eli what happened. Together they opened the envelope and found 4,000 shekel!
Eli asked a choshuva talmid chacham if they could connect the surprise money to their being mevater, or perhaps it was for some other reason that Hashem sent it their way. The talmid chacham answered that they could for sure connect it. Being mevater is a tremendous act.
I hope you’ll feel inspired by this story, and perhaps use the lesson to be encouraged and strengthened in the greatness of being mevater. May we all merit to have shalom between us all!
(Disclaimer: Names and slight details have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.)
