Dudi Rabi was studying in Yeshivat Shavei Chevron during the summer of 2005 as the country battled out the looming disengagement from Gush Katif when the IDF removed the 8,600 Israeli residents from their homes as part of Israel’s unilateral disengagement from Gaza. As tensions swelled and tempers flared, Dudi felt himself pulled in two directions.
He knew his learning in the beis midrash was critical for am Yisrael, yet Gush Katif beckoned. Maybe his presence there was needed even more. The rift in the nation was unbearable. Dudi stayed in yeshivah but would visit a secular community weekly to repair the relationship and bridge the gap between the sectors. This experience had a long-term impact on Dudi. He realized that he would not live in an insulated community when he grew up. He wanted to live with all of am Yisrael. Dudi came to Ramat Beit Shemesh to talk about his experience living in a secular kibbutz and what happened there on October 7.
While living with his family in Kiryat Arba, Dudi contacted a secular kibbutz to inquire about moving there. His family would be the only religious one on the kibbutz. The secretary spent ten minutes on the phone explaining why the idea was irrelevant. There is no kosher food. There are no minyanim. Dudi tried to push his way into the kibbutz, but they would not accept a religious family. He then moved his family to the southern town of Sderot, a major target of Qassam rocket attacks from Gaza.
In 2018, the Rabis, eight other religious families, and four secular families moved to Kibbutz Kerem Shalom, located 1.5 km (less than a mile) from Egypt, and 40 meters (44 yards) from Gaza. At the time, 24 secular families were living there. The religious families came with humility. They had no demands or a desire to fight. The sounds of laughter of the many children of the religious families brought life to the kibbutz. It took time for each group to learn the sensitivities of the other. Rabbanim helped the religious families navigate the delicate balance of keeping halachah properly without offending their neighbors.
The secular families realized that the religious were not using the beautiful pool in the kibbutz. When questioned, the religious explained that they don’t go mixed swimming. They had never requested separate hours because they were not looking to force their needs onto others. Even so, the issue of separate hours at the pool was brought up for a vote among the members.
The discussion was heated. Some feared that separate hours at the pool would lead to closing the gate of the kibbutz on Shabbos. This was unthinkable. In the end, 80 percent of the members voted in favor of separate hours. After the vote, a secular member asked Dudi why they couldn’t swim together. He didn’t understand that the separation was meant to be between men and women. He thought it was between the religious and secular!
Another heated issue was the need for a mikvah. Some members were very antagonistic and even cried during the discussion. A man who was against having a mikvah said he would vote in favor of having one because he saw how important it was to the religious families. And the religious families were important to him. In the end, friendship prevailed, and a mikvah was opened.
Someone who had not wanted the religious families to move to Kerem Shalom softened as he got to know them. Personal interaction trumped ideology and created a positive feeling between the families. Secular families strove to accommodate the religious in many ways. Filled with goodwill, secular women cooked in the homes of their religious friends so they could provide meals for postpartum mothers and prepare dishes to bring when hosted by religious families. One woman arranged her kitchen to accommodate dairy, meat, and treif. Another sent photos of Gush Katif greens and cabbage to Dudi’s wife to check if she could use them. One even asked about carrots!
The community had a weekly kiddush on Shabbos. The word “kiddush” was taken off the community chat because some were offended by it. Two signs were placed on the two tables at the kiddush. One said “kosher” and the other said “non-kosher.” Some were insulted by these signs, so they were changed to “Kasher Dati,” kosher according to religious standards, and “Kasher Chiloni,” kosher according to secular standards.
By 2023, 50 families were living on the kibbutz. On October 7, there were many guests. Dudi described the spirited singing and dancing of hakafos on Simchas Torah night. He recalls seeing his friends Amichai Veitzen and Yedidya Raziel dancing with children on their shoulders. They had no idea they would be killed the following morning by Hamas terrorists.
To be continued…
Suzie Steinberg, (nee Schapiro), CSW, is a native of Kew Gardens Hills and resident of Ramat Beit Shemesh who publishes articles regularly in various newspapers and magazines about life in general, and about life in Israel in particular. Her recently published children’s book titled Hashem is Always With Me can be purchased in local Judaica stores as well as online. Suzie can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and would love to hear from you.
