These parshios deal with the topic of tzara’as, leprosy. According to the Rambam, tzara’as was a spiritual leprosy, not the kind that exists today. It was a type with special halachos of tumah and taharah. In other words, it was miraculous, and it is important for us to notice and pay attention to Hashem’s great ways.
The Sefer Hachinuch offers an explanation for the reason behind tzara’as. It was for people to recognize the hashgachah pratis in the world—to see Hashem’s involvement in every detail of our lives. He pays attention to every bit of speech and intent that a person has.
We know that tzara’as comes as a punishment for speaking lashon harah. The fact that a metzora must sit alone, not together with others who have tzara’as, is because they caused others to separate as a result of their lashon harah. They need to bring a bird as a korban because they chattered away like a bird. The Torah makes this clear in the parshah with Miriam (one of the six remembrances we must mention daily), who contracted tzara’as because she spoke about Moshe Rabbeinu. If one knows they will be afflicted, they will be more careful.
The Chofetz Chaim says (citing his sources) that, although we don’t have tzara’as today, the message and punishment still manifest in other ways. One method is poverty or financial loss. This doesn’t mean that every person with financial hardship speaks lashon harah. Rather, when one doesn’t guard their tongue enough, the punishment can come in the form of poverty, which includes financial loss.
Uri shared the following story with me: One night, Uri was speaking with a friend on the phone, and the friend wanted to discuss an issue they had with a mutual acquaintance. Thinking it would be beneficial for both of them—that it would help improve things (l’toeles)—Uri agreed. However, as often happens in conversations, they veered off-topic, discussing other people and unrelated issues. After completing that call, Uri decided to discuss it further with another mutual friend. That conversation, too, spread to include some non-l’toeles speech. A short while later, just past midnight as Uri was going to bed, he heard a loud POP coming from his bathroom, followed by the sound of gushing water. He ran there, opened the door, and saw water pouring through the ceiling! A burst pipe! Unsure whether it was from the upstairs neighbor’s pipe or his own, he quickly ran to shut off the water main but stopped to knock on his upstairs neighbor’s door, apologizing while asking them to check their bathroom, which was directly above his. Uri shut off his water main, and as he returned, the neighbor reported that everything was normal on their end. Uri ran back down to his house, and the water had stopped. Upon checking his bathroom, he was surprised to discover that the water was coming from a burst hose, which had shot a stream of water to the ceiling, splashing off and appearing as if it was coming from above! Upon further inspection, he saw that the hose had burst at a completely abnormal spot—definitely not something he could have taken precautions against. He was able to close off that spot and turn the water main back on. The next day, Uri sent an apology to the neighbor for waking them, along with a gift. However, Uri told me that afterward, he remembered this teaching of the Chofetz Chaim and committed to being more careful with his speech, even if just to avoid damages!
The Chofetz Chaim lists many reasons why one might speak lashon harah, often rooted in negative midos. Haughtiness, pride, and anger are just a small sample. If one is haughty and boastful, they might talk about everyone else, seeing others as worth less in their eyes. When one is concerned about their pride, they might say whatever they need to in order to boost it. And if one gets angry, then everything becomes “allowed” as they rant and rage.
By learning mussar, one can overcome these midos. By working on one’s bitachon, they’ll be relying on Hashem, seeing His hashgachah—His involvement in everything. Knowing that no one can do anything on their own and that everything comes from Him also removes a reason to speak about others!
This past Shabbos, I was zoche—merited—to hear Reb Elimelech Biderman, shlita—“Reb Meilich”—speak. He shared the following story, which I think offers another positive message about guarding your tongue: A distinguished Rav, now in his eighties, showed Reb Meilich a spacious simchah hall filled with his children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and even some great-great-grandchildren—a very large family. He said, “I was zoche to all of them only because of a bad dream.” Here’s the story:
Two weeks into his marriage, his mother-in-law called him for a private meeting during his lunch break to discuss a very important issue. (It wasn’t an issue of yichud, but it was private enough.) He arrived, and she began to berate him about something, which soon erupted into a full-fledged scream and rant against him! He stammered, trying to defend himself, unsure of what to do. When she finished, he left, broken and shaking, and ran straight to his rebbi. He recounted what had just occurred. The rebbi asked, “Who else knows?” “No one,” he replied. The rebbi said, “Keep it that way, and don’t tell anyone—not your parents, and certainly not your wife. Think of it as only a bad dream! You’re only married two weeks, and you’re going to tell your new wife about a bad dream? She’ll think you’re crazy! So don’t tell anyone. It was just a bad dream. You woke up, it passed, it’s over, and it wasn’t real. Continue as if nothing has happened.”
He left and began to work on himself, convincing himself that it was only a bad dream, and he didn’t tell a soul. Two weeks later, he received another message from his mother-in-law to meet her during his lunch break. Oh no, now what? He took a deep breath and went to the meeting. Once again, it was just the two of them. She apologized for insulting him. He responded, “What insult? I don’t remember. Maybe it was just a bad dream?” She said, “You don’t remember?! Don’t pretend it didn’t happen!” He said, “Really, I don’t know what you’re referring to. Perhaps you had a bad dream?” She began to yell, “What do you mean a bad dream?! Are you mocking me?” He stayed calm and stuck to his answer. Eventually, she gave up and dismissed him.
This Rav told Reb Meilich, “I don’t know whether she believed the ‘bad dream’ answer, but it was never brought up again. I was able to move past it. The outcome is this room, filled with many generations of my family.” With haughtiness, pride, and anger, the Rav would not have been able to convince himself that what happened was just a bad dream. By overcoming his feelings and working on himself, he was able to overcome his midos and was zoche to so much more!
Many times, we wish that upsetting situations were just a bad dream. Perhaps, through working on our trust in Hashem, we’ll truly be able to overcome our feelings, improve our midos, and avoid lashon harah. By treating any wrong done to us as just a passing bad dream, we can truly improve our interpersonal relationships, especially during the time of Sefiras Ha’omer, and be zoche to greet Moshiach together very soon!
