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There are times in life when you learn a “life lesson.” It may not be at a time when you’re expecting it, but always be ready. Life lessons may sneak up on you. Case in point: I was once speaking with someone who did not have my best interests at heart.

I have written countless times about singles trying to track down shadchanim—shadchanim who beg the singles to “track me down. I’m so busy, but keep trying to call or text me. That’s the only way you’ll get through.” I had to deal with such shadchanim, and yes, I am of the opinion that if you want to help, then help. If you can’t or don’t have time, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Let the single know when a better time would be. Once a shadchan meets the single, the single starts hoping the shadchan will find a match for him/her among all the other singles’ resumes they have.

I thank Nachum Segal and the Nachum Segal Network for having me on the show last week and for interviewing me about my new book, Been There, Dated That (available on Amazon or on the Archway Publications website). Nachum Segal is a legend in the world of Jewish broadcasting. I remember listening to him on the radio while driving to work many years ago, when JM in the AM meant Jewish Music. But now his show is streaming, no longer on the radio, and JM means something other than music. Truth be told, when I was younger, I thought it was short for “Jammin’ in the AM.” I was right in my own way because I’d jam out to the music. Wow, I just dated myself.

I’m in a tizzy—a little bit outraged, a little bit inclined to put my head in my hands and just rub my head. What’s the issue? I read something somewhere about shidduch dating, or dating in general, and it boggles my mind. It boggles my mind how such a question or statement can be asked or said out loud to another person and a real answer is expected. And I respect the response that was given. I definitely wouldn’t have answered that way, but the answer validated the question and didn’t make the person asking feel like an idiot, so all was saved at the end of the day.

In my day, we called it bad behavior. In fact, I still call it bad behavior. I don’t know what it is with the younger generations. Are you just used to getting what you want without working too hard for it? Is it because you’re so used to swiping left or right when something bores you that you’ve forgotten how to act when you have to sit through something you don’t find entertaining? I don’t know what it is. But I have heard from a few people who have gone out on dates with people who were not on their best behavior. They let their anger, frustration, boredom…show. Instead of putting their best foot forward on a first date, they act however they feel like acting. If they had a bad day, they don’t hide it, put a smile on their face, and move forward. They complain about their day and even take it out on their date. By that, I mean they act rudely.

It’s not uncommon for couples to go out a time or two (or more), and then one of them calls it quits because he/she isn’t feeling it. Months or years pass, and they rethink the situation and are able to arrange to go out with the person they ended it with again. Many times, the second time around ends with a happily ever after.