Feeling a tad annoyed, are you? Maybe even a bit disappointed or angry? Hmmm. You feel misunderstood and not truly listened to. Not having your needs met? Tried to get that new program on your computer to actually respond? Good grief. Did you know that the oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve? It was an Apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just one byte, then everything crashed. Heh. It would be nice if we could strategically place piñatas all over the place, wouldn’t it?

How do you release pent-up negative energy? First off, please express your needs in a way that your friends and loved ones will clearly understand. “What I need right now is: (fill in the blank).” But remember that people only understand from their level of perception. Know that you are looking at the world through your own unique lens. We all are. Indeed, we have all experienced life in profoundly different ways than even our family or friends. Expectation feeds frustration.

Trying to use that new app on your phone? Argh. Can’t seem to open that jar of tomato sauce? Then again, ever get that epic feeling of opening the jar that everyone else was struggling with? Me neither. Burned the cookies again? When it comes to baking, don’t be afraid to take whisks. Ever tell yourself…just one more cookie; one more movie; one more minute? I know. But frustrations are simply a part of life. And no, plans do not always work out.

Feelings of irritation are like the weather, my friends. They may come and go, and will ultimately pass if you remind yourself gently that most challenges do not last forever. There you go, replaying every detail of that disappointment in your head, and now your stress hormones are being released in spades. Pondering and puzzling over your problem all day long will make even the smallest difficulty seem insurmountable.

Now you are a ball of pent-up emotions – with no prayer of finding that sense of peace and calm. How about changing the way you perceived that event? You truly can handle anything that comes your way. Try to visualize yourself unfazed and unflustered. That is how you rob negative feelings of their power over you.

It’s been said that common sense is not a gift: It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it. Can you relate? Still coughing up water from the last time he let you drown? One thing is for certain, sweet friends: Where there is anger, there is almost always pain underneath.

Please be careful with your words. Once said, they can be forgiven, but not forgotten. You will always have a chance to change your mood, but not to replace the words you spoke.

If you’re spinning your wheels and got stuck in a mood, by all means try a distraction. When I’m frustrated, I clean. So if you show up unannounced, and my house is spotless, you may want to reconsider your visit. Heh. What works for you? A movie, quick nap, or going for a walk in Nature perhaps? Refresh your mind so that you may be able to see things from a different perspective.

Let all those annoyances out to a loved one or trusted friend. But please do not ruminate or focus on the problem for long. Recalibrate and move on to something positive. If it’s strength, not sympathy, you seek, try praying instead of venting. Think about all the times things turned out well, despite the snags and stumbling blocks.

Do you believe in annoyed at first sight? Trust me, we all have misaligned expectations of others. The sooner you drop the standards she simply won’t meet, the less negative you will be. Don’t work so hard on fixing your problems. Fix your thinking, and your problems may just fix themselves.

Have you tried splashing some cold water on your pretty little face? It’s a physical cheat code actually. It will slow your heart rate just enough for you to breathe calmly and relax. Refresh your mind by taking a break from whatever it is you are doing. A sense of humor is your antidote to rage or resentment. Travel light, sweet friends.

Maybe she left you a voicemail again, and of course you only check your voicemail to get rid of that annoying little icon. Please do not use your words to retaliate, even if you claim he caused your exasperation. Attacking friends or loved ones surely does not solve your mess or muddle. Change the tone of your words and your thoughts.

Sometimes, when things go wrong, we need to ponder why it went sideways and how we can improve. Whatever you do, do not give up. It’s always the last key on the ring that opens the door.

The hardest math skill is learning how to count your blessings. Always remember to be grateful, sweet friends. What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked G-d for yesterday?

Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens.  She works with individuals, couples, and families.  Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends.  She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.