Dating Today

I like to publish articles where I see a theme trending. As we all know, trends fade and then come back into style again. I see this theme pop up especially during the summer, or at least the past five summers.

I was flipping through the TV channels yesterday and landed on a talk show. The hosts were discussing a topic that you would think is as important to us as climate change is to President Biden and Al Gore. They were vehemently discussing the topic, looking at it from different points of view. Since the hosts are a mix of women of different ages and ethnicities, they all had their own “take” on the issue. I sat there watching until I couldn’t stand it and turned to something to restore my hope in humanity that people can’t really be that dumb.

I’m here to help as best as I can, but sometimes I receive an email and think that the question or scenario given is made up. Maybe some of you are trying to see if I’ll take the bait and answer – and then want to see what I respond to these crazy questions just to have a laugh at my expense. I do my best to read through the emails received and decide which to respond to. Usually, if I see a few emails with the same theme, I’ll choose that, seeing that the topic is trending. Sometimes I will see an out-there type of question that I will take a chance and respond to – I have even written that I hope these letters are authentic but can’t be sure. Here are some emails with questions that I don’t think are authentic. If I am wrong, I apologize to the sender and please email the question again. But sometimes some of these questions just scream out at me, “You’re being punk’d.”

Dear Goldy:

I love animals. I always have, and I have never hidden my love of animals from anyone I’ve dated. I grew up with dogs, cats, lizards, guinea pigs, turtles, rabbits, parrots, etc. I was dating someone recently and he mentioned animals, so I told him how much I love them. We discussed growing up with pets: how he wished he had one, but his parents wouldn’t let, except for some fish and a short-lived hamster. I told him about the four cats, rabbit, and two turtles I have in my apartment. He joked that I’m on the border of being called a “crazy” cat lady. I’m not a “crazy cat lady.” It hurt my feelings. You can’t say I’m a crazy cat lady because I’m crazy in love with all animals.

I’ve written over 500 articles since I started this column. Turns out, I had a lot to say and am still talking, but now my readers are contributing. I first introduced letters from readers in my 17^th article. Until then, I was spouting off my opinions. The emails began coming by the fourth or fifth week of my column debuting. Most of them weren’t questions. At first people were just commenting on my column. Once the questions began and I saw that some topics were trending, that’s when I decided to publish and answer those emails.

Dear Goldy:

I’m 25 and “in the parshah.” I love your column and think you have done your best to cover all topics that are current, except one. The topic: people who have someone with special needs in their immediate family. My brother is on the autism spectrum. He’s highly functioning, but he still has the diagnosis. Very occasionally, that affects a shidduch for me and my other siblings. What I mean is, sometimes the shadchan is stupid (yes, I wrote “stupid” because that’s the only explanation) enough to tell me that the reason why a guy doesn’t want to date me or continue dating me is because of my brother. I know that the shadchan doesn’t mean that these people hate my brother; it means they are afraid that marrying into my family will give them the greater chance of having their own children with special needs. You may think that I’m exaggerating, but I’m not.