Dear Editor:

As an avid reader of Goldy’s weekly column, I admire her dedication to finding ideal mates for singles. As such, when I read this past week’s article about the “Not Crazy Cat Lady,” I smiled because my nephew has a similar problem. He is a 39-year-old, never married, 5’10” Long Islander who is truly a great, sweet, down-to-earth guy who would be appreciative to date a woman in the tri-state area. His greatest challenges are:

(1) As a kohen, he is limited to dating non-divorcees or non-converts.

(2) He grew up in a Modern Orthodox home, but is no longer shomer Shabbos.

(3) He lives, loves, and works (as a trainer) with multiple dogs and would be thrilled to meet a woman who loves animals as much as he does.

Do you or any of your readers know of such a woman?

 Aunt of Animal Lover


 

This Week’s News Roundup (Satire)

Dear Editor:

 FBI Lists Constitution As Symbol of ‘Domestic Violent Extremism’

The FBI recently published a list on their website of symbols and paraphernalia that are linked to violent extremism in the United States. According to the FBI, United States Constitution is the number one symbol of domestic violent extremism, followed by the Bill of Rights and the Declaration of Independence. The FBI is aggressively monitoring activity both on and off the net, searching for anyone who even remotely supports the Constitution. Anyone caught supporting the Constitution will be put on its top ten Most Wanted List.

Brilliant: Trump Changes Meaning of ‘President’ So He Can Be President Again

We know how badly Donald Trump wants to regain the presidency, especially since he lost the 2020 election to a demented idiot. He’s been trying all types of legal maneuvers, and none of them have worked. But now Trump may have found the solution he’s been looking for: Just change the meaning of the word “President.” Brilliant! If the Democrats can change the meaning of words, why can’t Trump do the same? So, according to Trump, here’s the new meaning of the word “President”:

president

noun

pres·i·dent | \ ˈpre-zə-dənt

Definition: Anyone who’s name is Donald Trump

What a genius!


 

Republican Governors Start Busing Democrats To NYC and DC

The governors of Texas and Arizona have seen a recent influx of Democrats into their states, and they want to do something about it. So, they did what anyone else would do in their situation, and they’ve been sending buses of Democrats to New York City and Washington, DC. “These open-border policies incentivize Democrats to destroy as many states as they can with no consequences,” Gov. Greg Abbott (R-Texas) said in a statement. “Let them continue destroying their own states, but they won’t destroy ours. It’s time to ship them back where they came from.”

 Rafi Metz


 

Congregation Mikveh Israel of
KGH Update

(Info and Phones for Nearby Mikvaos)

Dear Editor:

Effective Tuesday, August 9, the Men’s mikveh and keilim mikveh will be closed, and daily use of the women’s mikveh will be suspended. The women’s mikveh will remain open for Friday night and Yom Tov use by appointment only. Please call 718-268-6500 to make an appointment.

For weekday use, there are four mikvaos available within close proximity. Beth Gavriel is located at 66-35 108th Street in Forest Hills. The phone number is 718-414-2090. The Mikvah Of Hillcrest is located at 70-06 172nd Street in Hillcrest. The phone number is 718-969-4937. The Ohr Natan Briarwood Mikvah can be used by appointment only. The address is 139-06 86th Avenue in Briarwood. Their phone number is 347-721-0067. The Queens Synagogue Mikveh can be used by appointment only. It is located at 75-48 Grand Central Pkwy. The phone number is 718-607-2972. Call or text Ilana to make an appointment.

There are men’s mikvaos in Beth Gavriel (enter from 67th Avenue) and at Rabbi Savitsky’s shul.

There is a keilim mikvah available at Beth Gavriel, as well; enter from 67th Avenue.

 Shabsie Saphirstein


 

Dear Editor:

While I certainly sympathize with Rabbi Yoel Schonfeld’s lament regarding our national Jewish leaders’ lack of leadership, I am certain that Rabbi Schonfeld will readily acknowledge his unintentional omission of Mort Klein, long-time president of the Zionist Organization of America, as the outstanding exception.

Any keen observer of the national Jewish scene cannot but have noticed the persistent and tenacious positions taken by the ZOA in calling out anti-Semitic or anti-Israel activity in any form, often as a lonely voice in the wilderness. This has been true with respect to every area of Jewish concern from Israel to our campuses, to our local communities.

Mort’s efforts have been so outstanding, and of such long duration, that I simply felt that credit should be given where credit is due.

 Steven Orlow

 

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Please see Rabbi Schonfeld’s column this week.]


 

Dear Editor:

The Three Weeks are over, and it’s finally time for you procrastinators to think about a vacation. Back in the day, that meant going to the Pine View Hotel for a week. Of course, that was after we had visited our grandparents in a walk-up, non-air-conditioned four-room apartment in Boro Park, topped off by suntanning sessions on “Tar Beach”(the rooftop). That is possibly the reason for the ladder leading to the roof in our step-in closet in our circa 1940 KGH house.

One could entertain going to Europe, where the dollar is finally in the euro stratosphere. However, the airfare and hotel accommodations are through the stratosphere. Ditto Israel, although there might be some relatives who could provide free accommodations (hint: children).

Vacationing in the US isn’t much better, where, as The Wall Street Journal reports, a chaise near the pool could run you $200.00. That might not even include the towels. Also, between the heat, torrential rains, and fires across the country, the rest of the US might not be a great option.

That leaves the last choice: a staycation. You could look around your kitchen and consider redoing it, which will cost a couple of real vacations. Another option is to relax and learn some Torah, read some books, and watch the latest Israeli Netflix series in your air-conditioned home, which will raise your Con Ed bill to an even more outrageous sum. This conundrum can be solved by measuring the cost of a once-in-a-lifetime vacation against a calm, money-saving staycation. Just remember to stay safe and healthy!

Debbie Horowitz


 

Dear Editor:

Governor Hochul’s ethics are non-existent. She is knee-deep in pay-for-play schemes, giving state contracts to all her donor friends, from Medicaid to Penn Station. She even gave her husband’s company the vendor contract at a new Buffalo Bills stadium that she wants built in her hometown. She is using taxpayer money to fly all across the state on non-governmental business. Worst of all, while hundreds are fleeing the state for lower tax states, she insists on keeping Cuomo’s horrible anti-energy policies in place.

New York is rich in natural gas. If we could just open the spigots, we could lower the cost of energy in the state. Fracking can be done efficiently and safely.

Russia is closing off the supply of gas to Europe and it is costing them dearly. The economy of New York would thrive with thousands of jobs and affordable energy for our homes. Whatever transparency she promised, well, don’t hold your breath.

 Shalom Markowitz


 

Dear Editor:

Warren Hecht evaluated the winners and losers of the January 6 hearings. I would like to give my own evaluation.

 Winners:

 The drug cartels: The drug cartels are raking in billions of dollars with drug smuggling of fentanyl. The Biden administration and the DOJ have been complicit in this criminal enterprise by opening our border. The January 6 phony hearings are a major distraction from criminal activity.

China: China is also making a fortune with fentanyl. This drug trade also weakens this country, which is great for China. China is threatening to invade Taiwan, but all attention is being diverted to January 6.

Hunter Biden: Hunter has been involved in multiple crimes. His laptop revealed the extent of his corruption and involvement of his father. He is involved in illegal drugs, prostitution, and bribery. January 6 is a great distraction for him.

FBI and DOJ: The Democrats have declared that all kindergarten children are to be taught about LGBTQ+. Many parents have complained about this. The DOJ has declared that these parents are domestic terrorists and directed the FBI to go after them. The FBI has become an arm of the Democratic Party.

They use predawn raids on pro-Trump Republicans for pure political reasons. The FBI just raided Trump’s Florida residence as a display of naked power. The DOJ has always been political, but the FBI never acted this political before. This abuse of power is a very ominous development.

Iran: Iran has stated they plan to launch a nuclear strike against the US. Biden has responded by offering them more money to help their nuclear program. Once again, the January 6 commission has distracted the American public from this menace.

BDS: The Dems support BDS, which is now bent on targeting Jews in the US. To the extent that January 6 supports the Dems, it will help BDS, chas v’shalom.

 Losers:

 We are all losers. A totalitarian state is bad for us all.

In his last article, Warren Hecht bemoans the fact that many people do not have enough respect for the Biden administration. That is like the “pot calling the kettle black.” Warren supports all the attempts by the Dems to bring down the Trump administration. If you want respect, you have to give respect. The Trump administration supported the police and the rule of law. The Democrats want to defund the police and they support crime, violence and anti-Semitism. There was a time when it was legitimate to support the Democratic Party. That time has long since passed.

 Eric Rubin

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