Mazal tov! Our daughter is engaged! Baruch Hashem! Everyone appreciates a simchah, especially now. The light of a simchah shines bright during these trying times. We feel very blessed. But making a simchah these days is far from simple.
My future son-in-law fought in Gaza for several months straight. I took my daughter for retail therapy often during that tense time. Despite the constant worry and being unable to see or even speak with each other for many weeks at a time, eventually, our couple was ready to get engaged. But getting engaged was complicated because the prospective chasan was unexpectedly sent back into Gaza together with his future brother-in-law, my son.
What happens in the IDF is unpredictable. Any schedule that is arranged can be changed at a moment’s notice. We could not know with certainty when the boys would be home next. Waiting for them to return would potentially delay things even further.
We made plans for the wedding. We booked a hall, a photographer, and a band. But we couldn’t propose. The boy would have to do that by himself. And then, we would have a vort. But when? When would the boys leave Gaza and head for their base? When would they be allowed to leave their base and go home? The answers to these questions kept changing.
The good thing was that during this most recent stint in Gaza, my son and future son-in-law happened to be in the same battalion. This means that they were on similar, although not identical, schedules. As one about to get engaged, my future son-in-law was told he would be allowed to go home a bit early. My son’s commanders would also try to accommodate him and let him leave early since he is the girl’s brother. We davened that it would all work out.
Being cautiously optimistic that the boys would soon be discharged, we quickly scheduled a vort. If everything went as we had hoped, we would have three days to get it together. We had little wiggle room, as our future son-in-law was expected back at his base a few days later. We did not publicize the date, even to close family, until the boys were out of Gaza. Once they did leave Gaza, they would hopefully be home within a few days. We shopped, baked, and davened that they would all return home safely. Baruch Hashem, the boys came home, the couple got engaged, and we made a beautiful simchah. We fully understood that Hashem runs the show, and nothing, absolutely nothing, can be taken for granted.
While we waited anxiously for the boys to come home, my daughter and I went shopping for a dress for the vort. It was strange preparing for a party and wedding without an engagement, but we are living in strange times. You have to do whatever works. Every time we bought something, I asked my daughter if it was a retail therapy purchase, a wedding-related acquisition, or both.
We were shopping in Zara when I spotted HaRabbanit Yemima Mizrachi, a popular Israeli speaker for women. The poor woman cannot leave her home without being accosted by her many fans. Even so, she listens patiently and intently to each woman and poses gracefully for unlimited selfies. While I felt sorry for her, I could not let this opportunity pass.
I approached her and told her that the boy my daughter was dating was scheduled to return home from Gaza at the end of the week. Upon his return, we expected to hear good news. I asked that she give my daughter a brachah for the occasion. Rabbanit Mizrachi placed her hands on my daughter’s head and blessed her with “shefa brachot,” an abundance of blessings. She wished my daughter well as she builds her home during this critical time in our nation’s history. We did find a dress in that store, but it would have been worth coming to the store just for that brachah.
In that same store, the woman working in the dressing room could not contain her excitement that my daughter was getting engaged. (Okay, so we did share our secret with a few lucky people). She was not shy to offer her opinion about each article of clothing my daughter tried on. She also ran from one end of the large store to the other looking for more dresses she thought would be appropriate. This was not a small mom-and-pop shop, but a branch of a big international chain. We are not accustomed to this level of personalized service in such a store. It was nice to see people getting caught up in the simchah.
Let us hope that things turn around quickly and that the many “smachot” that we wish to celebrate will not be affected by the war. Please continue to daven for the recovery of the wounded, the release of the rest of the hostages, and the success and safe return of all the chayalim and security personnel.
Suzie Steinberg, (nee Schapiro), CSW, is a native of Kew Gardens Hills and resident of Ramat Beit Shemesh who publishes articles regularly in various newspapers and magazines about life in general, and about life in Israel in particular. Her recently published children’s book titled Hashem is Always With Me can be purchased in local Judaica stores as well as online. Suzie can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and would love to hear from you.
